Don’t Be A Fool – Instagram Commandments and Code of Conduct

In the last couple of years Instagram  has shown that it can be as messy, if not messier, than Twitter. I have seen girlfriends put boyfriends on blast, men posting naked pics of ex-girlfriends and tagging everyone, subliminal messages, and just plain ole rachetness. To avoid all of that we’ve come up with a few Instagram Commandments and Codes of Conduct:

1. Thou shall not post/talk about crimes you have committed or plan to commit the streets and the police are watching. This specifically goes out to you idiots posting pics and advertisements of drugs and guns you plan on selling.

2. Thou shall not rely on thy ass for likes then complain about men being thirsty. Instagram is supposed to be a visual showcase of what you have to offer. If all you have to offer is T&A, you will attract scumbag dudes that only care about T&A. They’re not the thirsty ones, you are.

3. Thou shall not participate in Instagram beef… only type what you really would say face to face. This is self-explanatory because we all know, everyone is only one $20 Megabus ticket away. 

4. If I am doing business on Instagram, thou shall not have a locked page. I don’t understand the point of those who offering services, selling products or advertising on Instagram having private pages. If I have to wait days for you to accept my request in order to see what your business is about, I’ve already lost interest and have decided to spend my money elsewhere.

5. Thou shall not post struggle plates. Nothing worse than the struggle you ladies post during the holidays. One piece of Dollar Tree half off special meat, a couple asparagus and overcooked rice on a paper plate does not a chef make. Do yourself a favor and stick to being pretty.

6. Thou shall not comment on their wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend status every single time they say something, just to let everyone know y’all still together. Example~“Boo you are so funny lol.” We know what you’re trying to do and it’s stupid. 

7. Thou shall not follow the women flirting with boo. If you see a woman giving your bae the flirtatious emojis, spare yourself the trouble of following her, stalking her and then jumping in her DMs. 

8. Thou shall not stalk ex girlfriends/boyfriends Instagram page…They moved on so should you.

9. Thou shall keep the memes to a minimum. Remember, Instagram is for photos. Twitter is for words. No one wants to go through 70 relationship quote memes before they finally see your selfie from 65 weeks ago.

10. Thou shall not attempt to hook up with guys/girls on Instagram if your if your significant others photos and screen name are on your page.

11. Thou shall not like their own pics, if you posted it, it’s safe to assume that you like it. Also, please do not be the first and only comment on your pic.

12. Thou shall have current pics..Not pics when you had hair, were skinny, or when you were decent in the 80’s or 90’s etc. Don’t just participate in Throwback Thursday and Man Crush Monday. Close your Instagram account if you don’t want to play fair.

13. Thou shall remember your mom, dad, supervisor, co-workers, and church members are your Instagram friends you might not want to post some pics or detailed conquest. (“I’m grown!” is not an adequate excuse.)

14. Thou shall not post/talk about crimes you have committed or plan to commit the streets and the police are watching. This specifically goes out to you idiots posting pics and advertisements of drugs and guns you plan on selling.

15. Thou shall not rely on thy ass for likes then complain about men being thirsty. Instagram is supposed to be a visual showcase of what you have to offer. If all you have to offer is T&A, you will attract scumbag dudes that only care about T&A. They’re not the thirsty ones, you are.

16. Thou shall not have an inflated ego. You can Instagram all the money, shoes and trips you want but in actuality know that no one really cares. Know that the number of likes you get on Instagram doesn’t equal the number of people who really like you in person, and don’t think that your followers are a measure of your success. That would be incorrect.

17. Thou shall step thy megapixels up. If you’re going to use Instagram, have a decent camera phone. The photos from your Boost Mobile flip phone circa 2001 aren’t visually appealing and may be the reason no one comes to your page in the first place. 

18. Thou shall not deem someone that disagrees with your status and challenges you on it a hater They just simply disagree and if you absolutely don’t like what they’re saying, remember that you reserve the right to block them.