In a recent interview with Aaron Ross Sorkin at the DealBook Summit 2023, Elon Musk admitted to having an “existential crisis” at age 12.
According to Musk, he reflected on thoughts of ending his life with questions like “‘Is it all pointless? Why not just commit suicide? Why exist?'”
At the time, he said reading religious books and German philosophy is what caused him to be “quite depressed.”
He claims that he was able to change his perspective after reading Douglas Adams’ “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.”
“My motivation then was, well, my life is really finite … but if we can expand the scope and scale of consciousness then we are better able to figure out what questions to ask about the answer that is the universe and maybe we can find out what is the meaning of life,” he said.
Musk described his brain as a “very wild storm” filled with a “fountain of ideas.” When asked if it ever brought him happiness, Musk bluntly responded, “No.”
“I think to some degree I was born this way, but it was amplified by a difficult childhood, frankly,” he added.
In January 2020, his mother, Maye Musk, revealed to Page Six, that her son was abused as a child by her ex-husband, Errol Musk.
Additionally, Musk admitted to being bullied during his adolescence and stated that even in moments of childhood happiness, he felt “a rage of forces in [his] mind constantly.”
“These demons of the mind are, for the most part, harnessed to productive ends,” he added. “Once in a while, they, you know, go wrong.”
According to Writer Ben Mezrich, Musk, who has acknowledged having Asperger’s syndrome, allegedly suffered from a mental breakdown last year.