Emotionally Unavailable Women By: @milagreee

Trying to catch the emotionally unavailable man is a curse upon itself. But what woman is attracted to this type of man? I don’t mean the woman that happens to come across this detached man every once in a while, but the woman that subconsciously finds and seeks these type of men. These women are also just as emotionally unavailable. I did a piece on the dangers of becoming involved with a man who cannot connect on a deep level, but I missed a large part of that equation; the woman that goes out of her way to find these men. What would be the reason for these women to want to be with such aloof men? What attractions do these men, who have no capability of connecting with women, have that some women yearn for?
These women that seek the EU men are just as emotionally unavailable. These women have been profoundly hurt by men. They carry psychological damage from previous experiences with men that have left them unwilling or unable to build a real relationship so in turn these women seek these men because in its own twisted way, these men are safe. These men will never ask her to open up to them, they will never want a less than superficial relationship and they will always end up leaving. It is easier for these women to try and be with someone they only have to give so much to than to get into a real profound relationship in which they need to bear it all. It takes a truly strong person to be able to let their guard down and fully invest themselves into a relationship with someone else. Having this “relationship” with a man that will never give them their all protects them from ever truly getting hurt because in her mind, a relationship can only lead to pain.
Let’s put this into perspective: Date number 1 is a smart and strong man, he is totally attractive and charismatic. D1 has always been sweet to you; he’s always been there for you when you’ve needed him. He tells you he wants to take your relationship to the next level and is always asking you how you feel about him. He wants to introduce you to the important people in his life and would like to meet yours. All of a sudden, you feel suffocated, you need to run so you start being cold and then hot towards him so he has no idea how you feel. You then start making excuses as to why this man isn’t the right one for you. You start to think of every little thing he has done that might have rubbed you the wrong way. You in turn decide that you no longer want to see this man anymore, because there has to be someone or something better out there for you.
Date two: Date two is distant and cold but still tells you mostly everything you want to hear, at first. The longer the two of you date, the colder he is. The longer you see him the more you realize that everything you know about him is superficial. He never asks you where your relationship is going and you can’t seem to read him. All of a sudden, you’re having dreams about him, he’s all you think about and the fact that he hasn’t called is killing you.
The woman in these scenarios is emotionally unavailable. She keeps her options open by dismissing the guy that is clearly interested in her. This woman is hot and cold to this man and wants date number two because she ultimately wants what she cannot have. She seeks the man who is equally just as damaged because only pain can come from a trusting and committed relationship. She has an fairy tale illusion of the perfect relationship in her head. Now don’t get me wrong, EU people crave and want profound relationships, they just don’t know how to attain them. These women might be in a never ending roller coaster with a guy that they can’t seem to tie down. They go out a few times, everything is hot and heavy in the beginning and it starts to diminish. They never speak of how they feel about each other because deep down this woman knows that it’ll ultimately scare the man and he will disappear on her. Odds are that he comes back eventually as if nothing happened.
The moral of the story is that regardless of gender, some people feel more comfortable being with the EU person when they in turn are also suffering from Emotional unavailability. It is easier for them to be with someone when they can control just how much they give this person.
If you find yourself constantly chasing after someone who seems to be unavailable emotionally, you should stop and ask yourself whether or not you’re subconsciously chasing him due to the fact that you know he is unattainable. Maybe you have to take a look within and see if you’re just as unattainable.