Faking Yourself Into Loving Someone

I know that you can grow into loving someone and I know that you can fall out of love, but can you really fake love until you make it?

Picture This: You have a great guy. Any girl would want him. He’s sexy, he’s funny and most of all he’s loving. He’s extremely in to you and he shows it. You’re into him too, kind of. Your body loves everything about him. Your mind loves being around him. Your heart on the other hand isn’t as convinced as the rest of you. There’s nothing wrong with him per se, but clearly your heart just doesn’t feel he’s the one.

So what do you do? Do you break up with him and leave him on his quest to find a woman who will appreciate him, do you stick it out in hopes that you’ll learn to love him, or do you lie to yourself and tell yourself that you do love him? Maybe if you tell yourself enough your heart will follow suit right? Wrong!

No matter what you do, actions will always speak louder than words and unless you’re a great actor, you won’t be able to hide the fact that you’re just not that into him. No matter how many times you try to tell yourself and others that you feel strongly for him, deep down you really don’t. You’re not a bad person, you mean well. I had a good friend who was in a situation similar to this. The problem with her telling herself she was in love and not really being in love is that she started to believe she was in love but was doing the total opposite of what love is. She’d lie to him, cheat on him, and basically do anything you could do that would possibly hurt someone who cared deeply about you. Not because she was trying to be malicious but because in her hurt she was single and didn’t have to answer to anyone. 

See the problem is, you can’t really lie to yourself. As much as you try to you will become completely conflicted and confused. The one person you’re meant to be 100% honest to is yourself. The minute you can’t be honest with yourself you become unstable and that’s what happened to her. She loved him and didn’t love him at the same time. She said the words “I love you” with a look in her eyes that would make you believe it but in that same breath would let another dude knock her back out with no question. Then she’d feel awful, betrayed by no one but herself. It seems like faking it until you make it doesn’t work this way….