Female Ballers: Can a Sisterhood Survive with Jealousy?

This is a cause for celebration, but you notice friend (enter name here) is suddenly being a bit distant. You tell her about your huge accomplishment, and she’s quick to change the subject, or worse… she brings up a negative time in your life in the midst of your excitement. You then realize that this isn’t the first time your ‘best’ friend has acted in this manner. In fact, you’ve never really been able to talk to her about anything good in your life, without her swiftly changing the subject or making it about her.

After giving her the benefit of the doubt several times, you have finally come to terms that she is #Jealous of your happiness.

Sooooo what now? You cant simply kick her to the curb because you love her dearly. And you don’t feel comfortable confronting her because she will surely deny it. So what happens now? Is the sisterhood bond broken forever? Has it been built on lies? Can this fragment of a friendship be repaired, or is all now lost?

Most of us have been in this situation one time or another, and many of us are still in it. Can a sisterhood survive with jealousy?

As the owner of an empowerment community for free-spirited Black Women (EnterprizeYOU.mightybell.com), I see this very, very often. Not within the EnterprizeYOU community, but within my personal life…. which is what inspired me to create this community. EnterprizeYOU is a #JudgementFreeZone, a place where sisters come together to network, uplift, share resources & expertise, and support one another on our journey to success and fulfillment. A couple of friends within my personal life have not always been the most supportive of me, unfortunately, and I sought a place where i could receive that genuine support, and give it to others. But even with having built a successful supportive community of like-minded women, it still bothered me that my ‘friend’ did not come around. Now, it’s easy to say “she is not a real friend and you need to get rid of her”, but what if it’s something deeper?

As a sensitive, intuitive being, I always seek to understand the intentions and the struggles of those around me because quite frankly, a lot of times it really isn’t about ‘us’ but more-so about the ‘friend’ and her own insecurities. I consider myself a Healer, and I heal with love & understanding, so that is exactly how I decided to look at my own friend’s situation when suddenly i realized, i’ve actually been in her shoes before.

How do you feel when everyone around you is seemingly #winning in life, yet your own life is in shambles? How difficult is it for you to be happy for those around you when nothing seems to be working out for you? Most of you will say “I’m happy for them anyway because that’s how a real friend is supposed to be”, and if that’s you, then good for you! But the reality is, all of us aren’t that strong, including me, once upon a time. Although i have never wished ‘bad’ on a friend for her happiness, i’d be lying if I said i didn’t feel some type of way when friends succeed and i’m stuck in the trenches. Its tough. And truth be told, it hurts. It makes you feel unworthy, and it doubles up on your insecurities.

Because i can honestly say i know how it feels, i cannot just rid myself of a non-supportive friend.  I may not have all the answers, but I have personally chosen to support my *non-supportive* friend through her insecurities, and continue to uplift and motivate her out of her struggle, because that is what a real sisterhood means to me. Sisterhood is not perfect, we ALL have our own issues but to have someone that loves you through those insecurity issues is imperative. We need each other and your friend needs you. So I say, don’t take it personally… your love & support will help to heal them and free them to also operate in their highest and best self.