Enough with ‘What’s Your Favorite Color?’: Upgrade Your First Date with These Meaningful Questions

First-date conversations can be boring if you stick to the typical topics, like hobbies, horoscope signs, and favorite things. There are better things to discuss and, even more importantly, better topics that will help you decide if there will be a second date.

If your intentions of dating are to be serious with someone, then why beat around the bush? If you talk about and ask certain questions from the jump, you can quickly see someone’s mindset. Certain discussions can help you get a deeper perspective of the person and prevent you from wasting time.

Below is our list of questions to ask someone and why you should ask.

Are you seeing anyone else? The last thing you want to happen on a first date is a run-in with the Cheater’s crew. It’s important to ask the date if they are seeing anyone else. Remember, it’s just a first date, so it’s okay if they say they are dating, but it’s different if they are involved with someone. You might want to ask, would anyone be mad if they saw them on a date?

What are your expectations of your significant other? Perhaps the most important but not often asked question is this. We must ask. Not everyone handles relationships the same. What one person might not like, another person may, and vice versa. It’s crucial to say what you expect from someone you’re dating while also hearing what they expect. This question alone can save time and heartache.

How did you heal from your last relationship?-Mental health in relationships is essential. But so is healing. Regardless of how a person chooses to heal (therapy, meditation, self-time), the goal is to heal. People have to heal from life hardships, especially relationships. A person should be able to tell you what they learned from their last relationship and how they moved on, and their answer should circle back to question number 2—what are their expectations moving forward?

What was the last thing you learned?– It’s admirable when you meet someone who wants to learn. Whether this be from a book, a person, or the internet. If you know you want someone with self-development habits and a quest for knowledge, asking these types of questions can help determine if they are taking steps toward self-growth and improvement. It can say a lot about the person.

What was the best day of your life?-This helps you understand what makes the person happy. Whether big or small, this question will vary from person to person but it helps you learn what makes someone happy and what impacts them.

What are your goals/Where do you see yourself in 10 years?– The common goal most people share in life is living on their own terms. Asking someone about their goals or where they see themselves in the next ten years can help you see if you guys align. A person should be able to tell you their goals and what they are doing to achieve them. If they don’t have one, it could be a red flag.

If money wasn’t the motive, what would you do in life?-If you’re lucky enough to do something you love for work, then the saying might be true: it doesn’t feel like work. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. Asking someone this question can help you see their passion when money isn’t a factor.

These questions will not determine who the person is because people can answer questions to satisfy and appease you at that time.  Remember, people tend to put their best selves forward, so it’s up to you to figure them out. Still, these questions are thought-provoking and different from the norm and may help.