Fist Bumping B*tches

blogged by Scrungy Genius

FROM NOW ON, I’M FIST-BUMPING BITCHES! Please do not take my usage of the “b” word in my subtitle as disrespect, or is it? Allow me to explain….

For the past twenty some odd years, I’ve been moving around in this bubble called the entertainment industry, living out my teenage fantasies. I do not consider myself anywhere near an A-lister, shit; I’m on no list. To be honest, a nigga is still struggling to find his footing. For a lot of independent folks, and us go-getters who refuse to punch a clock, this career choice is very fleeting. There are more hardships and disappointments than a regular civilian can ever imagine. The fantasy is really just that – a fantasy. Most of us haven’t even seen the “glow up” yet.

I chose entertainment not because I thought I could conquer the biz. It was more like my last chance, my only lifeline to stay alive and avoid a possible long prison stint. And prison would be the generous outcome.

Like the birds that were being flipped, the money flew away. Friends were dropping like flies to the street life. I wasn’t tall enough to dunk a basketball, nor was I blessed with Tyson Beckford looks to rip the runways in Paris.

I dropped out of high school in the ninth grade, so higher learning was not on my bucket list. I was just another hood nigga who knew I wasn’t ready to die or go to prison for life. I wanted more.

I knew what I wanted but I had no clue how I would get it. What the fuck was I good at? Did I mention I didn’t know how to rap? I started looking at people who look like me, from Spike Lee, Russell Simmons, Robert Townsend, J- Prince to John Singleton, Luther Campbell and etc. Notice most of the people I mentioned were bosses, who operate behind the scenes.

Due to my past, I knew to play the background. I just assumed that there were more longevity and money playing the background.

Allow me to digress for a moment. In trying out the entertainment industry, I’ve been faced with so many questions that I do not have the answers to. Let me throw a few of them out there in hopes of an honest dialogue.

With the climate of entertainment, do women still feel disrespected right now? Or do they feel empowered? I smell a new woman’s liberation movement in full effect and they do not need a man’s input. The sisters are calling the shots. We are in the era where pussy is powerful! The days of men taking advantage of women are definitely OVER, especially in the workplace. Get it through your thick skulls fellas.

No more unwanted sexual comments or overtly sexual compliments. Women are no longer interested in hearing your crass and disgusting water cooler talks about how dominant you are in the sack or how much they are missing out by not falling like an empty sack for your Mandingo prowess. There are simply no hugs with your loopy hand traveling south to their behinds. If you do get a hug, don’t squeeze too tight. Be respectful! The days of courting in the workplace are over! That’s a thing of the past. Keep that shit up and you are one phone call away from Human Resources, who will be handing you a pink slip for sexual harassment. And the worse part of it all, you WILL NOT get the opportunity to plead your case. YOU ARE GUILTY!

So, with that being said, after working my ass off to make it out the hood and into the entertainment industry, I don’t want any hugs or any type of physical contact from co-workers of the opposite sex. From now on, I’M FIST-BUMPING BITCHES!