The holiday season is one of the happiest times of the year, filled with family fellowship, laughs and most importantly, good food. But, every now and then, there’s that one uncle that brings a mystery dish for all of his nieces and nephews to try. “I tried something new this year, I want you to try it out Lil’ Niece,” he says. “It’s good, I promise.” Next thing you know, you are on the toilet, missing the New York Giants take on the Washington Redskins in their Thanksgiving division matchup.
This year though, we are saying “No” to our Uncle Buck’s kitchen experiments and permanently banning all of our Auntie May’s botched Thanksgiving favorites, from Chitterlings to Corn Cornbread. If you need help identifying which dishes to kindly toss for the sake of your stomach, BA’s got you covered.
First of all, if your Grandmamma is still cleaning and cooking Chitterlings (Chittlins) in 2017, you may need to sit her down and let her know that times have changed. There is no reason we should be eating the small intestines of a pig when we don’t have to. It doesn’t matter how much hot sauce you drown your ‘chittlins’ in, they’ll never be appetizing because of their rotten smell alone. If you knew better, you’d do better.
When Thanksgiving comes around, everyone wants to have a hand in preparing the meal. But, sometimes you just have to let them know that you’ve got this covered. Thanksgiving is NOT the time to try new things. So when your neighbor offers to bring over her Potato Salad, kindly decline and let them know you’ve got it covered.
Some dishes are staples for the holiday season, but many times your favorite cousin is hell-bent on adding her own little twist to it. That’s a big no, no, on Thanksgiving. So when your Cousin Mookie comes through the door with toasted marshmallows on her candied yams, kindly grab the dish, set it to the side, and send it back with her on her way out at the end of the night. Same for when your Aunt Anna comes in with her “delicious” corn cornbread. I’m not sure when it became a thing to put corn or broccoli in your cornbread, but NOT ON MY WATCH!
Finally, it is imperative and most important to make sure the correct person is cooking the Mac and Cheese, because if this dish is messed up-I’m out. If the mac and cheese isn’t baked, it’s not mac and cheese. If the mac and cheese is watery, keep it at home for your kids. If you are bringing Kraft “mac and cheese” to a Thanksgiving dinner, you don’t deserve nice things. Matter fact, just leave the mac and cheese to the OG’s. Because if you mess up the mac and cheese, there might be a Holiday beat down in your near future.
What are some other Thanksgiving dishes that need to be banned?