Five Reasons You’re Getting Coal For Christmas

It’s that time of year when Santa makes a list and he’s checking it twice. Many hope that their name makes St. Nick’s nice list. However, despite vigorous efforts to get gifts, it remains that coal is a very real possibility. Realistically, those in your life may not be in a space financially to get you a gift. And that’s fine, but for those that can afford gifts, you might still get a lump of coal for one of the following or a combination of the following.

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You’re petty. It’s funny at times, but after a certain age or beyond a certain point, it becomes corny and childish.

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Santa knows that you took a few things that didn’t belong to you from work when you quit, like the iPad, bulk paper, and ink for your printer.

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And although Sza has made you feel like being a side chick was acceptable, Santa is not with the sh*ts. So coal is what you will get in conjunction to not celebrating Christmas with “him.” And for the guys, the same thing applies to you.

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Let’s be honest. You don’t really deserve a gift. St. Nick has a record of all the lies you told this year, including the little white ones.

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And we can’t forget your rudeness. I guess it’s safe to say coal for your cold-hearted self.

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Maybe next year, you’ll do better and be a better person.