Words by Marvin Ady
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In 2005, Kanye West and Jamie Foxx collaborated on the platinum-selling song “Gold Digger”; an ode to women whose goal in life is to find a rich man that will finance a life a luxury for them. In the song, West affirms, “If you [messing] with this girl then you better paid.” He also suggested that she might not be a gold digger but a woman who refuses to date someone who is not deprived of financial means. It seems confusing and a bit contradicting because we are inclined to believe that women who only date men of particular socioeconomic status are gold diggers. As much as we want that to be a fact, it is not always the case. Sometimes, a woman just has high standards.
On the surface, women require five basic needs from men: commitment, honesty, protection, security and romance. How much of each she needs vary from woman to woman. Dig below the surface, and there will be other complexities, necessities and desires that she will need to be catered to. Nonetheless, a woman’s happiness begins with those five basic needs. Where gold diggers and women with high standards differ is in the “security” department.
By definition, “security” means “freedom from doubt; well-founded confidence; freedom from financial care.” A gold-digger wants to be able to shop and buy without having to worry about the price. She wants the ability to have the latest fashion accessories as soon as they are made available. Most importantly, she wants these things at the expense of someone else. It is all about securing the things she wants. A gold-digger is more concerned about the perception of wealth than actual wealth. She rarely looks past short-term gain.
A woman with high-standards wants to be protected from financial windfall or downturn. She wants to be in a position where she does not have to worry about whether or not the bills get paid. She wants to be sure that all responsibilities will be handled. Unlike the gold digger, a woman with high standards is self sufficient, independent, and has her own. She requires that a man be able to match or surpass her socioeconomic status. It is not about what the man can do for her, but what he could do for them. She is not interested in short-term gains but long-term growth. Where the gold digger has high expectations, the woman with high-standards refuses to sell herself short.
It is not always easy to distinguish between a gold digger and a woman with high standards, especially at the time of rejection. Rejection usually brings on embarrassment, anger and resentment that often lead to being defensive. A woman not wanting to date a man because of his socioeconomic status will often lead to allegations that she is a gold digger. In some cases she might be, but in other cases she might just be someone who is not willing to settle for less. At the end of the day, what separates the two depends on where their priorities lie.
EXTRA: 5 Signs She Might Be A Gold-Digger
1. Her friends are gold diggers
2. She’s more concerned about price rather than value.
3. She’s status obsessed or a label whore.
4. She never offers to pay.