Many people have their beliefs regarding the discipline of children and with the popularity of social media, methods of discipline have not only become more creative, but a lot more public. Some people believe that publicly shaming your children is a form of emotional abuse, while others believe that in this day in age where kids are succumbing to peer pressure, public shaming may be the only way to get through to them.
The recent death of a 13 year old Washington girl may help argue the point that public shaming isn’t always a good idea.
Over the weekend, Izabel Laxamana, exited a car and jumped from the South 48th Street bridge over Interstate 5 in Tacoma. She was taken to a Seattle hospital, where she died the following day. She jumped just days after her father published a 15 second video of him punishing her on Instagram. In the video he cuts off nearly 12 inches of Izabel’s hair because she had been misbehaving. “The consequences of getting messed up, man, you lost all that beautiful hair,” he said from behind the camera. “Was it worth it?” he asked her. Isabel answers, “No.” “How many times did I warn you?” he asks. Izabel answers, “A lot.”
“Public shaming is a form of abuse. There are those who will say that it teaches a lesson. So does punching someone in the face. That doesn’t make it okay to do to your children. My thoughts are with this young girl. I hope that she gets the help she needs. I also hope her father gets the help he so clearly needs and that her family can heal from these traumatic events brought on by public shaming.”
This is such a tragic situation that I’m sure no one could have predicted but I don’t want to put her entire actions on the father’s method of discipline. We live in a society where it’s damned if you do, damned if you don’t. When we grew up, our parents would come to the school and beat the skin off our behinds right there in front of the teacher and classmates and no one would bat an eyelash. Talk about public shaming, your mother probably came in a robe and shower cap and your friends probably still bring it up 20 years later…but you survived and it made for great comedic material as an adult. These days, I believe children really are different than we were. They are a lot more sensitive. My child included. Social media is a lot more important to them and instead of trying to fit in for 20 or 30 classmates, they want to fit in for thousands and thousands of people across the world. It’s even worse when videos are reposted and go viral. The image, you feel, will never go away. But is it abuse? Not in my opinion.
Some kids are so worried about what people think of them, and do so much bad online, that you really have to hit them where it hurts. Hair grows back, but did you learn a lesson? If you tell a child a million times to get on the right track, what do you do? Do you wait until they’re in jail? Are kids even afraid of jail anymore? It’s such a tough situation and I truly believe it all depends on the child. As I said before, they’re so sensitive these days. You truly have to know if YOUR child can emotionally handle something like this. I’m sure cutting her hair isn’t what caused her to leap from a bridge. She’s been suffering from depressing for some time and no one noticed. Condolences to her family.
People online are calling for Izabel’s father to be criminally prosecuted or publicly shamed himself. Do you think public shaming is abuse?
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