Giving It Up On The First Date? The Pros and Cons

Let’s be grown for a minute. Is sex on the first date a bad idea? Well, of course, it depends on who you ask.

The old stigma of never having sex on the first date isn’t super relevant anymore. But there are still a lot of factors that play into how people will answer the question. While some people will be critical about it, others will say, “YOLO.”

So, let us weigh it out. The good, the bad, and the ugly of doing the “grown folk”  on the first date.

Pro #1 – Sex on the first date can kill wasting time. If the vibe is right, doing the deed to see if there is also chemistry in the bedroom may not be a bad idea. If sex is high on your priority list and bad sex is a deal breaker, then you may want to test it out early to see how the person performs.

Con #1 – Sex on the first date can bring a lot of judgment. And although we’re headed in a more sex-positive direction, those judgments usually fall on women. It’s called patriarchy and sex negativity and unfortunately, it still exists. But whether man or woman, having sex fast can lessen the thrills needed to keep a relationship going for both genders.

Pro #2 – It could be fun. If you want to do it, why not? What’s wrong with consensual, safe sex? Plus, it could be a great encounter that pushes the bond in a good direction. And even if it doesn’t, if the motive behind it wasn’t to “bag” a relationship, then you shouldn’t feel bad about it.

Con #2 – Good sex can cloud your judgment. One thing about holding out is that you spend more time mentally unloading the person. Intimacy can mask red flags and it can speed up a relationship by bypassing the “getting to know you stage.” Then there’s also the judgment that comes if the sex is bad. It doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll stay that way. Some people need time to learn your body. But if you cast them out after a bad session,  you may lose a good thing. 

Pro #3 – It can help you learn more about yourself. Whether you feel ashamed or free after the hookup,  you may have a better understanding of yourself and learn what you need and don’t need.

Con #3 – It could lead to more one-night stands. Let’s say you give it up and the other person isn’t so interested in you afterward; now you’re left to go on another date and then maybe another. Keeping sex off the table for a while can help you weed out when it’s time and when it’s not time to have sex. Taking things slowly can help strengthen romantic relationships before things get physical.

Regardless, sex on the first date is a “to each its own kind of thing.” Learn and do what works for you. As long as you’re not being tricked, misled, or have some kind of ulterior motives behind your reasoning for having sex, it’s your prerogative.