Gotta Let You Go! Knowing When & How To Love Someone From A Distance

In some of our romantic or platonic relationships, there comes a point when we simply have to love people from a distance. 

There are a number of reasons to put some space between you and your loved ones.  Certain relationships may become unhealthy due to toxic dependency, one-sided friendship, extreme neediness, or emotional manipulation.  Or, there are other occasions when you simply outgrow people due to maturing, relocating, or differing views, amongst other factors.  No matter the root, if being in close proximity to someone is affecting you negatively, it is time for much-needed space. 

“It is very possible to love someone the same but also say, ‘I’m going to redefine your role in my life,’” explained Memphis-based Pastor Issac Curry to Refined TV.

His advice is a way for you to protect your peace while still holding onto the admiration you feel for that person.  Think back to season four of “Insecure,” when Issa and Molly’s tension dragged out until the fateful block party, where the best friends nearly came to blows.  Though this explosive moment led to an all-out fallout, the pair reconciled in the next and final season, making it apparent that a timeout had been desperately needed. 

Detaching from someone does not have to be permanent.  Stepping back allows time to reflect and heal, which can lead to a potential reconnect under healthier circumstances.  If you find yourself having to maintain a relationship from afar, here are a few tips to ensure your one-time confidant knows there is no love lost.

1. Keep them in your thoughts or prayers, wishing them well on their achievements or life milestones.
2. Stay in touch via occasional text messages or social media correspondence.
3. Offer advice only when asked, but avoid becoming a frequent shoulder to cry on.
4. Practice forgiveness and release any negative feelings you may harbor about them.
5. Cherish the positive memories you’ve shared, even if you realize things will never be the same between you two.