Hey Friend, You Change Your Life, Not Mine

Have you noticed that when some people make life changes, they feel the need to try and change your life? We all have that friend. The one that started on a path to a “healthier lifestyle” and is dieting and working out. Now because she’s dieting and working out, every word she sas to you is about how you NEED to hit the gym and what you NEED to stop eating if you want to live longer. Guess what, if you eat and sleep good, exercise and drink water every day, you’re still going to die. There’s no way around it.

What about the girl who decides to ditch perms and go natural. She all of a sudden turns into a natural hair nazi and starts criticizing you for still getting down with the creamy crack. Now you are a self-hating woman who has been brain washed to hate the natural texture of your hair. Then they make crazy Youtube videos about how weave, perms and wigs destroy black hair and make it weaker. Never mind that maybe YOU just want to do whatever YOU want to do with YOUR hair and maybe you don’t wan to shell out a ton of money on shea butter, coconut oil, mayonnaise and whatever else goes into being natural. Maybe you don’t want to spend an extra 12 hours of your day perfecting the “twist-out”. Let’s be real natural sistas, stop misleading women into thinking that skipping perms is going to give them those beautiful, bouncy, curly big hair that you guys post on Instagram. We all don’t have hair like that. The devil is a lie! And what I find most ironic is a lot of natural nazi extremists who swear against putting chemicals in their hair are eating, breathing and living in chemicals everyday. So kudos, now you will can grow long healthy hair in your grave.

Then we have that friend that finds religion and all of a sudden everything YOU do is bad and you need to be “delivert”. Now everything is about the huge change in your life and they can’t even hold a conversation with you without talking about how you need to come to church. Never mind just a week ago they were your partner in crime and found no issue in getting into a little “trouble” with you. Now, you can’t determine if they are genuinely concerned for your well being or they just need someone to rattle off Bible scriptures to.

What about that friend that goes vegan and tries to force you to stop eating meat? This is actually one I’ve run into a few times. Rather than accept the fact that you’re going to keep eating meat, just like you were eating yesterday, they send you crude images of pigs at a slaughter house to guilt you into not eating bacon. Well, if meat is so bad, why do vegans eat byproducts chemically altered to taste like meat? I don’t dangle a burger and force it down your throat, plant killer!

Here’s the thing, the beauty in life is that we can all be different and still manage to be friends. Your life choices are just that, your life choices, and everyone should feel free enough to be who they are (especially around their friends). While I understand people’s excitement to embark on a new journey in life, don’t get so excited that you make those close to you uncomfortable or feel less worthy. It’s okay to want to encourage your friends to be better but know when you’re going to far. Always remember when you were an overweight, perm-getting, meat eating delinquent, they loved every bit of you.