How Long Should It Take To Meet Your Online Lover & Ways To Make This Happen

With the OWN Network ushering in a new reality TV phenomenon based on couples who’ve never met, new discussions have emerged regarding how long online relationships should continue before in-person encounters occur. 

The premise of the show, appropriately titled “The Never Ever Mets,” focuses on Black couples who had spent months and, in some cases, years dating one another virtually without ever having physical contact. Different circumstances prevented them from achieving this. However, the show flew each couple out to a house, allowing them to meet and bond for the first time. Cast members Josh and Shay are one of the longest-running partners, having dated online for 12 years before their first outing on the show. While it seems they have chemistry, their lengthy relationship being carried out via FaceTime and text message for over a decade has posed the question: how long is too long to date someone without actually meeting them?

I still can’t get over the couple that dated for 12 years #TheNeverEverMets pic.twitter.com/WMKXf6ZZR0

— Dani T (@SoCoolFiasco) April 28, 2024

Not both these fools live in L.A. but been virtually dating for 3 years…..please stop playing with me 😭 #theneverevermets

— The Neighborhood Publicist (@nhoodpublicist) April 27, 2024

i can see how some of the people who’ve been dating for a few months, maybe even a few years, haven’t met yet because of covid, inflation, etc. but i’m side-eyeing the ones that live in the same city or had been “dating” more more than 5 years. chile, please. #TheNeverEverMets pic.twitter.com/PqiD3dyODK

— jordy🦋 (@heirjordynn) April 26, 2024

According to a survey conducted by dating app Happn in 2020, 58% of dating app users wait up to a month before meeting their online love connection in real life.  Therefore, 12 years sounds a bit extreme.  While there are many reasons why people take their time seeing their internet love interest in person, here are a few tips to make this link happen to prevent a 10-year phone romance.

Choose a safe location

If safety is your concern, choose a crowded location to visit during the day. A restaurant, cafe, or mall is always a good choice. 

Give someone the details

In order to feel more comfortable meeting your virtual lover, tell a friend about them. Let someone know the meeting location and contact information about the individual.

Trust your gut

With the couples featured on “The Never Ever Mets,” factors such as distance and family life prevented them from seeing one. However, for some, the only real obstacle could be a feeling of discomfort. Maybe the individual made odd comments or gestures that made you second-guess them. Trust your gut for these feelings, no matter how long it has been. 

Be sober

To have the best results during the first encounter, limit alcohol consumption.  This maintains a clear head and good decision-making.

Increase video chats beforehand

Ramp up the video chats ahead of in-person encounters. Ensure you’re satisfied with their appearance.  This can ease any initial awkwardness.

Meeting your online romantic partner should be an exciting experience, signifying a new milestone in your relationship journey. Prioritize safety, communication, and truthfulness so you don’t end up on the next season of “The Never Ever Mets.”