Do you have a problem saying no? Are you a yes man/woman who constantly allows people to run over you? Are you in a codependent relationship? Do you put the needs of others in front of your own? If you answered yes to any of these questions, it’s time for you to create some personal boundaries and walk into your New Year free of excessive baggage, ready to work on the new YOU!
Personal boundaries are the physical, emotional and mental limits we establish to protect ourselves from being manipulated, used, or violated by others. They allow us to separate who we are, what we think, and how we feel from the thoughts and feelings of others. There is no substitute, no exchange, or nothing that is more important than your internal heaven. That little space that you control without fear or intimidation is for you.
Many people fail to realize that inner peace is a personal choice. We choose the level of happiness that we allow ourselves to experience. It’s fair to say that I just tapped into this. All of the years of exposing and exploiting myself to people who were no good for me only led me to this road of enlightenment. It helped me cope with the realization that you can’t be everything to everyone and you can’t give all of who you are away.
For me, internal boundaries are most important. Internal boundaries are the relationship that you have what yourself. Sort of like self-discipline, or rules and regulations that you have in place to keep you on the straight and narrow. This is most important to me because I am a giver. I realize that I am most comfortable seeing others happy in life. In the past, these character traits have been my downfall because I would only see the best in people.
After several let downs, I became more aware of what parts of me that I offer the world. It’s not healthy to allow everyone into your personal space. People should have to earn your respect, love, and most of all your loyalty. It’s not a given and people should be aware of that after having a conversation with you.
Standards are also important when creating personal boundaries. Are your standards too high or low? Do you live up to the standards you are putting forth? Sometimes standards can make or break us so be fair when creating standards and be sure to make them obtainable. If you create standards that no one can meet, you will only create a barrier between you and your mission.
It’s important to have  healthy emotional, mental and physical boundaries that keep you aligned with your goals. For many, they tend to divert under pressure and difficult circumstances because they have not set boundaries for their lives. When trying to do better, or accomplish something different, you have to adopt a healthier mindset.
Put yourself first sometimes. I know that may sound selfish, but you should have a space that only you can retreat to for your personal time. Setting effective boundaries won’t happen overnight, but with patience and faith, you will learn to set the appropriate boundary is for you. Learn to separate your emotions from your responsibilities and that alone will allow you to create positive boundaries within responsibility.
I have taken the liberty to post a few of my healthy boundaries that keeps me aligned with my goals, the universe, and my spirit. Whenever I’m taking back or begin to go off track, I am reminded of my boundaries that I control my life.
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