I Want The Relationship, But I Don’t Want The Title

– Blogged By @SirRatchettness

I’m not afraid to admit this, I’m selfish and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.  What’s the point of getting your pockets laced and your body tight just to be tied down to someone else in a relationship? The freedom that comes from being single is priceless, until it comes to coming home to an empty bed every night.  Sure a nightcap is only a direct message away these days, but who wants to go through all that work when I can have a stand-in on call at all times?

Is it wrong to want a bae to fulfill all your relationship needs without the full commitment? Think of it as using an uber to run your daily errands instead of being forced to buy your own car.  Now I know you are thinking “that’s called a friend with benefits” but giving a homeboy the nookie from time to time and having a stand in bae are two different situations. There is no nicer feeling then to have someone to go on dates with, send flirty text messages while at work, and blow your back out when necessary; while having the freedom of being single.

Why not just get a boyfriend then? Because titles complicates things and add extra pressure and unrealistic expectations that honestly no one should care enough to deal with. Like I said at the beginning, I’m selfish and I love myself enough not to get tied down to someone else – at least not yet. Why deal with all the heartache, headaches, maintenance, and dedication to a boyfriend when I can test drive a bae? Compare your love life to your credit score for a moment and ponder how one bad commitment can affect it negatively for years. Think of all the stupid commitments you made while you were younger and is still blocking blessing for you way deep into adulthood. Why stress yourself out on keeping your 2001 Nissan Maxima in shape enough to pass emissions when you could rent a 2015 dodge challenger for a fifth of the cost and a third of the commitment?

Is it a crime to want someone to be exclusive to you when you need, without giving them the same? Absolutely not.  That’s why I’m against titles and all it brings. If ‘Being Mary Jane’ has taught you nothing else, asking questions and looking for titles will leave you alone looking stupid. I can promise you the minute you put a title on your man, he amount of stress will increase ten fold. Always remember a comfortable man is an honest man and the easiest way to make a man comfortable is to not try at all. So while others out here on their creep Instagram accounts checking their boyfriends’ comments for kissy face emojis, I’ll be sending my stand in bae funny vines until he gets off work. Because these stand in baes are like buses, miss one and in another 15 minutes another one is coming – shout out to Gucci Mane for that life lesson.