Interracial Understanding Relationships

When I read an article called “Why the Hell Am I Still Dating Black Women”, it hit home for various reasons. I grew up and still live in Houston; one of the most diverse cities in the US. I’ve dated an asian guy and a hispanic guy. I have a white brother-in-law. Who cares. The topic of interracial dating isn’t taboo for me. In fact, I think it’s a very important discussion to have; being that our culture has so many mixed reviews and unanswered questions about it. My view on interracial dating is simple….

Your reason for dating/marrying ANYONE (inside or outside your race) should always be for love. With that being said *sigh*, I often feel that some black men date white women because of the ill feelings they have towards the women in their own race. Again, I have absolutely no problem with the swirl. I don’t think a black woman has “sold out” if I see her with a white man. I don’t frown upon black men, white women and their biracial babies in public. No. But what I DO have a problem with is when black men try to turn the non-black women against us…

“This self racist form of incept-psychology does

not work on Strong Minded Women,

no matter her race. Yet, it will work perfectly on

any woman who’s insecurity is low enough that she 

would allow a man to slander any woman in

front of her, regardless of that woman’s race.”

To non-black women: If your black man is constantly comparing your treatment towards him to a black woman’s treatment towards him, he’s dating you for the wrong reasons. He’s running away from the women who were too strong for him to handle and using you as his scapegoat; feeding your insecurities with dead compliments (“You take care of me so much better than my black baby mama/old black girlfriends/etc.”). He thinks you’re weak. Don’t believe me? You should hear what some of these “strong black men” call you behind your back. Snow bunnies. An easy lay. Exotic. Don’t fall victim to that. “Realize that all women (no matter the ethnicity) have more in common with each other than they do with the male counterparts of their race. (Woman By: Christina Thomas)” So don’t let his words give you a negative perception of black women as a whole. That’s his way of controlling you; trying to build your relationship on the character genocide of the women he is culturally and ethnically attached to.

I’m not saying all black men that come in contact with white/asian/hispanic women have negative intentions or are running away from black women. But I AM saying that it’s not hard to tell when they are. Just pay attention.

To black women: Weak (black) women think women of other races are “stealing all the good black men we have left”. Girl PLEASE! Stop that sh*t. We don’t own black men and we don’t owe a man (black or otherwise) anything. So don’t hold your dating life hostage while trying to save these men from themselves. If they don’t see your value, that’s their problem not yours. Continue to hold your head high and your standards higher. Don’t let them fall just because a white man comes along and finds you intriguing. He is not your savior. He is not the answer to your problems. He is not there to be used in your petty plot to anger black men. (Just had to throw that in there.) But be fair to yourself and explore your options when it comes to dating men without the same skin color as you.

If some black men only see the stereotypical negatives in black women, you shouldn’t want to date/marry them anyway. Please understand that in essence, many of these women are actually doing us a favor by getting these men out of our faces and giving them something better to do with their ego rather than trying to control us and calling us “bitches” (small vocabulary) when they don’t get their way. REMEMBER: Weak women see interracial dating as competition. Strong women continue to see it as an equal playing field.

Do yourself a favor and read Why the Hell Am I Still DATING BLACK WOMEN? By Ebrahim Aseem. You won’t regret it!

@rebelledbydesign

Photo Cred: Digboston.com