Is It Harmless to Have a “Work Wife/Husband?”

Workplace boos come off as a joke, but are they? A Work wife or Work husband comes off as sketchy, especially if you have a spouse, but what if they’re harmless and platonic?

According to experts a workplace spouse, which they defined as “a distinct interpersonal relationship at work characterized by co-workers with a close, platonic bond similar to the bond of marriage. This relationship develops from an initial attraction—a chemistry resulting from shared interests, values, or compatible personalities,” could be beneficial and help build healthy relationships in the office.

“Simply put, a work spouse is one’s ‘go-to’ person, a confidant, one who knows you better than anyone else at work,”  Marilyn Whitman, of the Culverhouse College of Business, and Ashley Mandeville, of the Lutgert College of Business told Newsweek. The two are leading researchers on the subject of work spouses.

It makes sense why these types of bonds form. For one, the two get one another, live within the same workplace and culture, and deal with many of the same people. And from this, they start calling their close friends “work wives” or “work husbands.” But using these intimate terms can make others—including home life spouses—uncomfortable, which then raises the question, is more going on?

While in some cases, it could be or it could happen in the future, Whitman and Mandeville say that’s not the case and make a distinction between workplace romances and workplace spouses. Workplace romances typically happen for reasons of adventure seeking, sexual experience, or job-related motives.

“Whereas a work spouse relationship stems from feelings of bonding in a domain outside of the home.” It’s the person they find to discuss work-related problems, laugh, and help get them through the day.

Now are they appropriate? Well, that depends on who you ask. Twenty-one percent of U.S. adults said having a work spouse is OK. Forty-five percent said it wasn’t appropriate. Naturally, when people form a bond, that bond can carry over into something less platonic.

However, as long as these “work spouse’ situations stay platonic (especially if you have a home-life spouse), are not too dependent (because what if the person leaves), and have set boundaries then what’s the harm?

It’s just a term that shouldn’t be mixed up with workplace romance.