Let’s talk about a four letter word that is extremely over-used. That word is HATE. My problem with this word is that whenever you offer a suggestion or disagree with something someone is doing, they assume that you are “hating”. Really? Let’s discuss this.
For example, a girl friend of yours isn’t living her life the best way she can. She’s in and out of work, horribly irresponsible and is more concerned about men than she is about her kids. You try to refer her to jobs but she can’t stay long enough to get her first paycheck. She’s proven that she knows the recipe for disaster and it’s going to effect her children in the most negative way. You finally reach out to her and give her that tough love that she desperately needs. Only problem is, the minute that you begin to hint that she isn’t living her life right she begins to go off on YOU about how jealous you are of her. It’s in that breath that you have become a “hater”. But why? How did you become envious of the girl with the eviction noticed taped to her door?
In some twisted way your friend is convinced that she is doing nothing wrong. What do you do when a friend is living wrong and is content with that? What do you do when every time something goes wrong, instead of saying “This was wrong. This is how I fix it” they say “Bad things happen to good people. Nothing I can do about it”? In the mind of a delusional person, it may indeed look like you are hating. Most normal people would say, for what? Too often friends mistake good advice or disagreements for hating. This is one reason a lot of people assume that they don’t really have true friends. Let me break down a few situations that are mistaken as hating
You leave the house in a $20 lace front wig….I’m NOT hating, your hairline does indeed resemble that of a cabbage patch kid.
Your boyfriend beats you and I mention you should leave him…I’m NOT hating on your beautiful and functional relationship but your black eyes are scaring my potential boyfriends away.
You aren’t a very good rapper….I am NOT hating, in fact I’m trying to save you money and time. Everyone can’t be a rapper. Believe me, theres some days even I wish I could Mic Check 1-2-1-2, but I cant, and neither should you. It’s just not in your future.
You have way too many kids to only be 22…Yeah this may offend you but I am NOT hating! We learned at an early age how babies are made and after your 4th child, I think you should have the concept down by now. No ma’am, I’m not jealous of the daycare center you gave birth to. I just think it’s time you check out that new invention they have out there….birth control.
You are broke. Why are you still buying Louboutins…Look, I don’t pay your bills…oh wait, I do. You owe me $100.
Your mother is raising your kid. You, on the other hand, are still clubbing…Okay, maybe I’m hating a little. Ask your mother if she’ll watch my baby too.
Now, if I tell you that you should not date someone and I turn around and start talking to him a week later. Yes ma’am, I was hating on you. Now I’m laughing at you because you probably should have been smart enough to catch that!