Janay Rice Talks Ray Rice Fight, Her Parents Reaction & More With ESPN

Janay did her first interview with ESPN recently where she broke down the Atlantic City casino incident that lead to Ray Rice’s suspension from the NFL. In the interview she talks about Ray actually spitting at her first because she reached for his phone, but also says that she doesn’t consider herself a victim and was angry when her mother implied that she needed to get out of the relationship. Read excerpts from the interview below.

On what happened leading up to the elevator incident
There was something different about that day. The two of us were just off, starting that morning. I was annoyed because it was Valentine’s Day and Ray and one of his friends had planned a group trip to Atlantic City, while I had wanted to do something with just the two of us.

I was going to surprise Ray at the hotel with a couples massage, but the manager spoiled the surprise by calling Ray to confirm the time, instead of checking with me. From that moment on I was annoyed with everything, but I continued to act as if I was fine. We weren’t even in Atlantic City yet and nothing seemed to be going right.

After a silent, three-hour car ride we arrived at the hotel, where everything seemed to be much better. There were two other couples hanging out with us — Ray’s brother and his girlfriend, plus another couple we’d become close to in Baltimore. All of us went to dinner, and then met up again later at the club inside of the Revel Casino. We were drinking and having a good time. The six of us shared two to three bottles of liquor, which we also shared with a few fans who came up to us.

After the club, our friends from Baltimore, Ray and I decided to go to the late-night restaurant in the casino. Ray and I were bickering. We were drunk and tired and while I know that some people may find it hard to believe, none of the six of us can remember exactly what Ray and I were arguing about. It was that insignificant.

As we were arguing, he was on his phone and not looking at me. I went to reach for his phone, and when he grabbed it back, he spit at me and I slapped him.

We got into the elevator and what happened inside is still foggy to me. The only thing I know — and I can’t even say I “remember” because I only know from what Ray has told me — is that I slapped him again and then he hit me. I remember nothing else from inside the elevator.

The next thing I do recall is being in the casino lobby, surrounded by cops.

On her parents reaction
Ray pulled [my mother] aside to tell her what happened, and when he did, I left the room. We separated in the house for most of the day. Ray was in tears, and I let him have his time.

Later, my mother asked me privately did this ever happen before. I understood why she asked, but I was livid — probably because I was embarrassed. She told me she was not going to allow me to be in a situation like this. She said she wasn’t going to tolerate that from either one of us, and that I needed to make a decision about whether I was able to move past it. I just sat there and let her speak because I had no words.

At first, I was very angry, and I didn’t know what to say. This came out of nowhere. Nothing like this had ever happened before. I knew it wasn’t him.

But as angry as I was, I knew it was something that we could move on from because I know Ray

On her reaction to seeing the first video that was released 
I was sick to my stomach. I just broke down in tears. I said to him, “I don’t think I should have seen that.” He said, “me either.”

The video didn’t make me rethink our relationship, but I did want more of an explanation from him. I asked him why he left me on the floor like that. I asked him how he felt when he saw that I was unconscious. He told me he was in shock. I asked him what happened when we got out of the elevator. He told me he was terrified because security was there. I asked him how he felt seeing me like that. He said he was thinking, “What did I just do?” [She reveals later on that she refused to watch the second video when it was released]

On why she did the press conference
Looking out over the media, I became angry, seeing all the people who had been covering this and adding to the story. I wanted to tell everyone what was really on my mind. When it was my turn to speak, I said I regretted my role in the incident. I know some people disagreed with me publicly apologizing. I’m not saying that what Ray did wasn’t wrong. He and I both know it was wrong. It’s been made clear to him that it was wrong. But at the same time, who am I to put my hands on somebody? I had already apologized to Ray, and I felt that I should take responsibility for what I did. Even though this followed the Ravens’ suggested script, I owned my words.

On marrying Ray Rice the day after he was indicted
We were married March 28, the day after he was indicted for aggravated assault. We didn’t choose that day because of the indictment. It just happened to be a Friday and a time when our families could attend our wedding without having to interrupt their work schedules. I didn’t understand why that was suspicious to some people. We’d been together seven years and had been engaged for two. What happened that night wasn’t going to change the fact that we were going to get married.

On why it is hard for her to accept that she is a victim
I still find it hard to accept being called a “victim.” I know there are so many different opinions out there about me — that I’m weak, that I’m making excuses and covering up abuse — and that some people question my motives for staying with Ray.

However, I’m a strong woman and I come from a strong family. Never in my life have I seen abuse, nor have I seen any woman in my family physically abused. I have always been taught to respect myself and to never allow myself to be disrespected, especially by a man. Growing up, my father used to always tell my sister and I, “We don’t need a man to make us, if anything it’s the man who needs us.”

On what she will tell her daughter about the incident when she gets older
I don’t know exactly what I’ll say, but we’ll be honest with her. I will obviously tell her that it was wrong, and it’s not something that you allow and to respect herself foremost, just like I was told as a child. But I’ll also tell her that people make mistakes and you have to learn from them.

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