Jussie Smollett Reflects on 2019 Hate Crime Scandal: “I Felt Very Disconnected From That”

Jussie Smollett is no stranger to controversy, but after five years of battling personal and legal issues, the actor has found peace.

Smollett recently sat down with People in an exclusive interview to discuss his journey to healing, the challenges of dealing with public backlash, and how he has navigated the chaos that came along with the infamous “hoax” incident.  Now, Smollett says he is ready to speak his truth despite being the main focus of the ongoing legal matter.

If you’re unaware, Smollett’s life took a turn on January 29th, 2019.  On that night, Smollett reported that he was a victim of a hate crime.  The “Empire” star claimed that two men attacked him, yelling out racist and homophobic slurs while placing a rope around his neck and dousing him with bleach.  However, after an investigation, prosecutors alleged that Smollett staged the entire ordeal to gain attention from the media and paid brothers Abimbola “Bola” and Olabinjo “Ola” Osundairo to assist him. Two years later, Smollett was found guilty of making false reports to authorities.

Even though the public has formed their own opinions about Smollett, the actor maintains his innocence and believes that many “assumed a narrative” based on incomplete information.

“I was numb,” Smollett said to the outlet. “I didn’t know how to connect the dots. I really genuinely did not know. I couldn’t make sense of what was going on, and I couldn’t make sense of what people were actually thinking … what exactly do they think happened? I couldn’t put two and two together.”

He continued, “They had a mission. I felt very disconnected from that. I still, to this day, can’t entirely make sense of, ‘What the f*ck was that?’ But obviously, it was painful. I certainly am not going to sit here and try to act to the world as if I was fine.”

After receiving his guilty verdict, Smollett was sentenced to 150 days in jail, a $25,000 fine, and ordered to pay over $120,000 in restitution to the Chicago Police Department. Six days into his sentence, Smollett was released on bail pending appeal. While the legal issue is currently still ongoing, Smollett says that the situation took a personal toll on him, as well as financially and legally.

“That was a pretty dark day because that’s when everything clicked to me of what was happening. A lot of things tested my strength, a lot of things tested my mental, but the one thing I never lost — I never started thinking that I am somebody that I’m not. That is the one thing that did not happen,” he added. “Keep in mind, I was deep in my thirties when this happened. This isn’t like I’m a 16-year-old or a 20-year-old, [where] this is impacting their very being of who they believe that they are. I never started thinking that I am somebody that I’m not.”

Despite the turmoil, Smollett credits his inner circle for helping him through his “darkest moments.” Though he admits his healing process hasn’t been easy, Smollett says he’s continuing to find joy and support through his loved ones and fans.

“I’m grateful for the people that know who I am,” Smollett said. “I’m grateful for the folks that would stand up and defend me, not because they have to, but because they want to, and because they not only believe in me, but they believe me. I don’t take that lightly. I have some pretty incredible people in my corner, and I am here still because of them. If I did not have them, I can tell you honestly, I wouldn’t still be here. I’m very grateful to be alive and currently on a journey to find true peace. The world would’ve swallowed me whole had not been for my family.”