– blogged by: @mranthonyb
I think that we can all agree that the best part of waking up is NOT mixed feelings in your cup.
According to a recent study, 70% of Americans have admitted to having at least one, ‘one-night stand’ in their lifetime—not to mention how many of the remaining 30% were lying. This study is a blatant reminder that all of us (our parents included) have been about that hoeish life at one point or another.
So how is a one night stand supposed to work?
Well typically…
Two strangers let their libido take the wheel and after a little conversation (and maybe a few drinks), go home together.
One-night-stands are typically followed by a “walk of shame”, as you exit your hook-up’s house wearing the same outfit you had on the night before. If you’re lucky, your ‘bae for the day’ might even request your uber or give you a ride home before never contacting you again.
But what happens when your hook-up breaks the rules and doesn’t treat you like disposable cutlery?
You know the mornings I’m talking about, when you happily saunter to your Uber wondering, “Was that random sex or the beginning of something real?”
Well, that leads us to the confusion caused by the romantic one-night stand.
Some argue that romanticized one-night stands send mixed signals, while others argue that it’s just a matter of being polite. Personally, I’d say it’s a combination of both. When one-night stands get too romantic, or spill over into the next day, typically one of the following things happen:
1. You both take it for what it is and enjoy a great breakfast with a new friend.
2. One of you takes the morning cuddle/breakfast as a romantic gesture while the other was just hungry.
3. Since life is JUST like an episode of Sex & The City, you both realize that the stranger laying next to you is future bae and love blossoms.
While breakfast, cuddling, and extended conversations are arguably indicative of romantic interest, how do you know FOR SURE which direction things are headed?? The answer is, you don’t. The only way to find out where a connection will lead is to be: Patient, Reasonable, and Open.
- You have to be patient with the timing of a potential new romance; don’t rush it. If someone is telling you that they want to date you after a one-night stand, there’s a 50% chance that they’re crazy, which leaves a 35 % chance that they’re lying, and a 15% chance that they are sane and genuinely smitten by you. So trust me, the waiting game is essential in scenarios such as these.
- You also have to be reasonable. In being reasonable you have to think about how many one-night stands ACTUALLY turn into successful romantic relationships. I mean, weirder things have happened so I would never rule it out but to be honest, it’s pretty rare.
- And lastly you have to be open. Be open to all of the possibilities and live in the moment. Be open to the idea that you may have just hooked up with the love or life, but also be open to the idea that you might never see this person again; and that’s okay.
DON’T BEAT YOURSELF UP IF THEY NEVER CALL YOU AGAIN.
Keep in mind that someone’s reasoning for going ghost might have NOTHING to do with you at all. You never know what kind of personal crap-storm they might be knee deep in. For all you know they could single, married, or even in an open relationship. So don’t take it personal (in my Monica voice).
One-night stands can be fun but are definitely confusing at times. If you can’t handle the heat and ambiguity that comes with them, you should probably to get out of the kitchen. And by get out of the kitchen I mean scale back your hoetry a bit. Doing hoe stuff isn’t for the faint of heart. Make sure you’re really ‘about that life’ before getting in too deep—both literally and figuratively. If you’re exclusively seeking a romantic relationship, going home with random people while drunk is not really conducive to achieving that goal.
So can we answer the original question: “Is it love or just a one night stand?” I’d say that only time, compatibility and the alignment of the stars can tell us that. So, until then, just have fun!
