Justin Bieber Opens Up About Drug Addiction, Anxiety And Depression In New Episode Of YouTube Docuseries: “People Don’t Know How Serious It Got”

Justin Bieber is opening up about his previous longtime drug addiction in the newest episode of his YouTube docuseries, “Justin Bieber: Seasons.”

In the latest episode titled “The Dark Season,” Bieber detailed his journey with drug abuse and said he was close to “dying.” “I was waking up in the morning, and the first thing I was doing was popping pills, smoking a blunt, and starting my day,” Bieber said. The cameras followed the 25-year-old star back to his hometown in Stratford, Ontario, where he was discovered as a street performer. That’s where Bieber said he was introduced to marijuana when he was just “12 or 13.” “There was a time when I was sipping lean; I was popping pills, I was doing molly, shrooms, everything,” he said. “It was just an escape for me. I was young.”

By the time Bieber turned 13, he was already on his road to success, but by that time, he’d already “gone through a lot in a very short life,” according to his manager, #ScooterBraun. He added that the ages 19 to 21 were a “dark period” for the singer. Bieber said he valued the “wrong things” and used his upbringing as a scapegoat for his downward spiral. “The truth is, is I never had the tools. My parents never gave me those tools to be a good team player.”

At one point, Bieber felt like he was “dying,” and that’s when he decided to change his narrative. “My security would come into the room at night to check my pulse. People don’t know how serious it got,” he said. “It was legit crazy scary.” The singer admitted that he still struggles with anxiety and takes antidepressants to get out of bed in the morning, CBS News reports. “It might not seem that hard to some people to get out of bed, but it’s been really hard for me to get out of my bed,” said Bieber.

At the end of the episode, Bieber encouraged his fans to keep pushing through the pain. “I just want to say you’re not alone. There’s people that are going through it with you. Life is worth living,” he said. “If you’re not gonna give up, the only thing to do is push forward.” He said he no longer wants to only be better for himself, but for his loved ones as well. “I’m committed to getting better,” he said. “Being the best me is going to help be the best husband, the best father, the best friend I can possibly be.”