Healthy conversations about behavior aren’t always based on praise. Sometimes, you may need a little tough love to see the error in some of your ways. Since the fellas are always butthurt in the comments section because they feel like blogs only highlight the myriad of issues that we have with them. They make a valid point so let’s talk about some issues that get swept under the rug about women.
You Aren’t Always Right
Not all the time sis. You gotta remember that even a broken clock is right twice a day. Sometimes, we focus so much on “being right” that we can fail to see the toxicity in how we communicate with others, especially those who we claim to love. This doesn’t mean that you need to be anyone’s doormat or not advocate for yourself or even speak up when you know a better way to do something. However, it does mean that there are times where it is most appropriate to listen more than you seek to be heard.
If Everything Is Going Wrong It’s Not Always Someone Else’s Fault, Maybe It’s Yours
I say this in the most loving way possible so you can receive the blessing that this statement holds. Look, too many times women get left holding the weight of what feels like every responsibility in the world. Is it fair? No. Is it right? Also, no. But, after you’re finished having that pity party or getting mad at everyone who failed to do what they were supposed to, can we pause for a minute and review the role you play in your own misery? The truth is, maybe you’ve made a bad decision or ten. You may have been setback for a bit, but what is within your power to help you get back up? Are you too reliant on other people and not self-sufficient enough? Are you really being mistreated or are you lacking the courage and self-love to walk away? Are you really struggling financially or do you just have poor spending habits? It’s too easy to blame other people and play victim when there’s a lot you can do to control your fate.
Bitter Doesn’t Look Good On You
The entire world seems to mistake the passion and conviction behind a black woman’s voice and actions as, “angry.” Meanwhile, some of you really are, and you’re messing it up for those of us who aren’t. Heal and forgive sis, heal and forgive. There are things that should have NEVER happened, pains you should have NEVER experienced, hurt that is hard to live with and even more difficult to let go of. No one said there wouldn’t be troubles, just understand that they don’t have to last. There isn’t anything too hard in this life that cannot be overcome. Make a decision to want to be a happier version of yourself and do whatever is necessary to become it.
Manage Your Expectations Sis
Listen, living in your head about what things “should” be will have you messed up for decades if you let it. Let go of this make-believe ideology of a “perfect life/love/man/job/existence” and learn to love and appreciate what and maybe who you already have. No one is forcing you to remain committed to a mistake just because you spent a long time making it.
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