Let’s Talk: How Do You Handle A Selfish Lover?

A selfish lover is a person that doesn’t allow you to reach your peak but they make sure that they get theirs. Being in a relationship with a selfish lover can eventually lead to what we all hate, bad sex. If you’re a female, the odds of you having bad sex at some point in your life are pretty high. I have come to the conclusion that if the tables were turned and women were to get off on a man and then leave him high and dry, he wouldn’t know what the hell to do. I know that doesn’t apply to every man, as some men are able to please their woman and then please themselves.


For those that are unsure of what “bad sex” actually entails, let me explain. The man decides he wants to have sex; he then touches you here and there for a total of 15 seconds, just to get the job started. The man then pounds away (the infamous jackrabbit) and has sex with you how he wants to have it, how it turns him on and then in about 3-5 minutes maybe a little more, then boom. Thank you ma’am, go about your day. Your job is done. Basically, the man got what he wanted and now he is finished. You’re left lying there wondering what just happened. You are nowhere near satisfied and he falls asleep. The moral of that story is sex happened how he wanted it, because he wanted it, and when he was good and ready, it was over. If women were susceptible to some kind of physical pain from not achieving an orgasm as a man would be, would you not punch him in the face after this?


Ladies, how many times have you encountered a selfish lover? You are literally almost there and then he tells you he is done. Like, you want to keep going but his a$$ rolls over and goes to sleep like the job is complete. Now I know there’s a chemical in a man’s brain which is released after sex that makes him sleepy, so he isn’t doing this to piss you off but the lack of concern as to what you’re feeling or if you feel anything is what makes bad sex, bad sex.


I believe a man shouldn’t JUST think of what his needs might be but also try and take care of the woman they are sleeping with. It just makes for better sex. She is then able to let the “freak” out and literally make your sexual encounter together that much more pleasurable for the both of you.


Having a selfish lover sucks. The ultimate result is that you leave the woman you’ve slept with thinking you are a selfish prick who has turned her sex drive off because let’s be honest, what the hell is the point of having sex if you’re getting nothing out of it. You might be better off with your hands. However, the man, in turn, is actually cheating himself from having what could have been the best sex ever. If a man feels as though sex is over when he is done, then you’ve got yourself a selfish lover and nobody wants one o those…PERIOD!

About Peachkyss

Peachkyss is the Fashion Writer and Content Curator for Baller Alert, who keeps reader up-to-date on the latest trends, the latest luxury brand collections, and how to "ball" on a budget.  Peachkyss has her Bachelors in Elementary Education with a concentration in Mathematics from Norfolk State University and Masters in Middle Grades Mathematics from Walden University.  Have a question about what your favorite celeb is wearing or fashion advice, email me at [email protected] "Style is a way to say who are you are without having to speak."

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One comment

  1. This is a tricky topic for sure, but I think making sure that communication and respect are parts of the equation is the most important way to move forward. Perhaps the man is self conscious about his parts. I would suggest giving him a penis health creme, which can help with any dryness or irritation he maybe experiencing, or lackluster erections. The special formula ensures that your penis is getting the nutrients it so deserves. Highly recommend for daily use after showering and patting down your body with a towel. You’ll thank me later!

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