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When I saw this assignment, I laughed a robust laugh because I’m in this predicament as we speak. My youngest sibling is seven years my senior. By all accounts he can not be my father, but my brother swears he is. And for majority of my life, I’ve given him the respect as such until I decided one day I liked his friend. It’s been awkward ever since. I try to have an open conversation and it’s dry as menopausal vagina. My brother doesn’t want to entertain the thought. It just racks his brain that I could do something against his wishes… Oh well.
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Falling for and/or dating your sibling’s friend is pretty sticky. After all, your sibling probably knows some of your potential boo’s secrets and how they operate with the opposite sex. From an insider’s point, that’s great information , but if your sibling is like my brother you won’t get pertinent information, just a general warning. And if you are like me, you need to know details or you’re going to find them out on your own.
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Before you engage in any type of dealings with the friend, have a realistic conversation with yourself analyzing all risks and benefits. The wages are a little different now because you two have a mutual interest involved, his/her friend which is your sibling. Dealing with you could ruin their friendship and/or place an awkwardness in your relationship with the friend and/or sibling. [My brother has me on probation. I can’t be around him when he hangs out with his friends. If you know me , you know I’m my brother’s side kick. I suppose this will last for a few weeks, but I’m his fave so he’ll get out of his feelings eventually].
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Before you move forward past the flirty eyes and slick mouths, assess what you want and inform your sibling. Out of respect for my brother, I eventually told him I liked his friend. I was incredibly nervous because my brother is adamant about the no sibling/friend rule. He reminds his friends constantly when I’m around. However, I knew I wanted to see what his friend was about so I made the decision to put it all on the table.
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Understand that you probably won’t be able to share everything. You don’t want the friendship between the friend and your sibling to be compromised. Therefore the little convos you had about small shhh in your life may change. And it’s best that you don’t complain or have grievances with your sibling because the unbiased advice becomes totally biased. That small annoyance is now a huge problem. You also need to be sure that the friend isn’t a talker, meaning he/she isn’t about to put your business with each other on from street. No sibling wants to hear how crazy, nasty, or weird their sibling is. It’s a shit show waiting to happen.
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The other thing to consider is what if it doesn’t work out. What if you and the friend don’t end amicably? Would you be upset if your sibling still hung out with him/her? Would you be uncomfortable to be in his/her presence? They might have a new girl or dude when you see them. Are you going to be able to handle that?
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If you feel like you can deal with the extra considerations then go for it. I don’t suggest using your sibling’s friendships as your dating pool, but sometimes what you need and/or are looking for is right up under your nose. I advise that you don’t make a habit of dating or dealing with your sibling’s friends. This is my one and only time of ever conversing pass general salutations and forbidden flirting.
