Are You In A Long Distant Relationship Or Just A Distant Lover (Part 1)

It’s 2014 and settling for the local boo just isn’t the way any longer. There are more long distance relationships thriving then ever before. I meet countless of men/women including myself dating people from different cities. So the big question is how do you know if you are in a “Long Distance relationship” or just a “Distance Lover”

Distance relationships can be quite difficult to define. If your boo is merely the person you only see when you’re in DC partying at Stadium, or in Vegas every six months for the fight.……you may just be a distance lover. Its cool the first step is to understand the play as women we sometimes expect more from a payless situation. If the guy only hits you when you are in his city or he’s in yours that’s not a long distance relationship he’s a distance lover. If you guys only communicate every other month he’s your distance lover, not your man. Now there is nothing wrong with a distance lover and this comes with many perks but know you’re not the only one trying to be the only one. (I’ll explain the perks in another post). Therefore you must find satisfaction in the moment and enjoy the time you guys share together. Also it may come a time when your boo is “busy” hope you got backup!

Now, lets say you live in Dallas and your boo lives in New york or New Orleans; you two communicate on the regular, the guy is just as attentive as if he was in your city. This is good you guys are getting to know each other and possibly will “define the relationship” (DTR) soon understand ladies what may take 3 months with a in town boo could take 6 months with a distance boo, and that’s ok let your love simmer. You have to be patient men are horrible with communication and distance makes another threshold you will have to cross over. Other characteristics of a long distance relationship is visiting each other, you two must decide traveling dates that works for the both of you. A long distance relationship can’t thrive off phone calls, text and etc. sharing space, and physical time is necessary in “DTR”.  Another characteristics and perhaps the most important one is understand what the other person wants just like a normal in town relationship you can’t just go around thinking someone is your significant other because it sounds/looks good, you two must be on the same page as to where your relationship is heading with a out a blueprint your  distance relationship can turn sour quick. Keep in mind this will hurt considering the distance you may not ever get the closure you seek; so be smart and read the signs.

So whether you are in a long distance relationship or have a distance lover it’s important to understand your position by asking or thinking about the following questions. These ten questions are just the tip of the iceberg you should still question for your own personal reference but this is a great start to solve the confusion you may be experiencing.

• Have you two traveled to see each other since you first meet, (Did he buy the flight? Don’t lie!)
• If you met online, how often do you two speak?
• Do you guy’s FaceTime/Skype/video chat and communicate
• Have you DTR, and how long did it take?
• Do you two make plans often to see each other?
• Do you only see your boo when you’re in their city or vice versus? (This is important I’ll explain in another post)
• Do you trust you’re boo? Trust is very important when dating?
• Do they support you, emotionally, financially, physically, and career wise just because there is distance doesn’t mean you get to half step?
• Do you see progressions in the foundation you two are building?
• Does this person lifting you up or bring you down, you have enough going on by yourself you don’t need it from halfway across the world?

Coming Soon – This is a 3 part series

Part 2:”How to spice up a long distance relationship. ”

Part 3:”Pro’s & Con’s” to long distance relationships”

By: @jasminesoleil