Ballerific Relationships – “I’m Not Ready for a Relationship”: What He Says vs What He Means

You’ve been spending time with a person of interest doing things that Lovers do. Yes, even that. Things are going well and it appears that the two of you are mutually falling for one another but you aren’t positive. You don’t really want to be that girl who asks “what are we?” when he fails to make his intentions clear but you are also not interested in one of those “what’s understood doesn’t need to be explained” situations. Who has time for THAT? So, you do what you have to do and pose the question despite your reservations. His response: “I don’t want a relationship right now.” or “I’m not ready for anything serious.” Ouch. Don’t trip, it happens to the best of us and for a number of reasons. Of course it is a possibility that he genuinely is not ready for a relationship but if he’s a stand up guy, he won’t say this and then do things that are misleading. Others will though. Trust me.

What he says: I don’t want a relationship right now. What he means:

I may be ready to settle down just not with YOU. Ouch. That one stings. 

I think you are a good woman but I am convinced that I can find someone better. However, I am completely fine with allowing you to fill that space until she comes along. 

I am not man enough to tell you I just want sex because I think you won’t allow it.

I am in Love with another woman who left me for one reason or another and I am waiting to see if she will take me back before I move forward.

I don’t trust women but I like to %*&! them

I’m broke. Some men are the providers that you want them to be but may be in a state of transition. If a guy truly values his role as such, he will not commit until he is sure that he can provide.

Ladies, whatever the reason, whether he reveals it or not, believe him. If someone tells you they are not interested in a relationship it may be in your best interest to take the L and make room for someone who is. If those words come from someone you are newly dating you may think “he just has to get to know me a little better. Once he does, he will fall in Love and commit”. NAWL. Who really wants to be with someone that they have to convince anyway? “Not I” said the cat. If you are not ready to cut them off perhaps you can work on a friendship and cut out all the extra stuff that clouds your judgement and just watch and wait. Only do this if you can handle it though. Sometimes we say we can and pretend we’re okay with it while secretly hoping for brownie points and expecting something magical to happen and swear we were mislead when it doesn’t happen. He. Told. You. He. Did. Not. Want. A. Relationship. After you asked of course, which should have been your first give away.

Women are always claiming they want honesty but when they get it they twist it into their own truth. I get it, it feels better to believe someone is sooo in Love with you that it terrifies them into thinking they aren’t. Does this happen? For sure but not as often as you’d like to think. Be real with yourself.

Ladies, what is your reaction to this statement?