Misery Loves Company..The Mashonda Complex

Now that Season 1 of Love & Hip Hop has wrapped we have gotten to know a little more about the women in some of our favorite rapper’s lives. One person that we waited all season to learn about (but kind of fell short) was Mashonda. Most known for her marriage and very public divorce from producer Swizz Beats and the drama that followed him marrying Alicia Keys, we thought we would get to hear Mashonda’s side. Instead, we were left with a woman who came off bitter and seemed to give Emily (Fabolous’ girlfriend who’s upset Fab doesn’t publicly claim her) bad advice.

Mashonda’s introduction to the show was a shot of her abandoned home that her and Swizz shared, still decorated with photos of the couple on the wall which she said were for the child’s sake. The yard had been unkept and it was a truly depressing sight to see. Somehow Mashonda thought that she could compare her relationship to Swizz to what Emily was going through. When it came to rumors written on blogs or Emily learning how to express her feelings Mashonda’s advice was always “I just don’t want you to go through what I went through”. But Mashonda, it’s quite possible that Emily would never go through what you went through and maybe you’re just bitter. 

We all come across a situation where we have that friend who has gone through a tough break up and somehow through all of their miserableness they find a way to give relationship advice. Their advice usually is one sided and not the best advice you could be receiving. It often contains words like “You need to leave him, girl” or “Don’t end up how I did” rather than letting you make your own decisions, good or bad. Their argument is convincing because you have seen what could happen if you end up like them but sometimes you have to understand Misery Loves Company. A person who is going through a hard time needs someone to talk to, preferably someone going through the same situation that they can sit and bash men with. A miserable person can’t identify with someone who is happy. A miserable person needs help getting through whatever is bothering them and are less likely to take advice from someone who’s in a perfect relationship for fear that that person has know idea what it’s like. The term “Misery Loves Company” doesn’t necessarily mean that this person intentionally brings a happy person down, they just need someone who is sharing a common problem. In Mashonda’s case it’s men. The issue with Mashonda is through all the bad advice she was giving Emily, she didn’t realize that Emily’s problem was nowhere near the same as hers. Emily is the mother of Fab’s child, but they were not married. In essence, Fab is free to go whenever he pleases. To Emily’s knowledge Fab is not cheating and he hasn’t married and impregnated Alicia Keys. Sorry Masonda, I know your situation is a difficult one to get over, but don’t bring down the next woman in an attempt to “help” her.