Mix Cereal & Milk, Not Business & Pleasure

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been advised by the aged to never mix business with pleasure, and to be honest, I never understood (initially) how or why such simplistic advice could be so complex for many.  It sounds easy, right?  I mean…there’s no reason to think that you could actually fall for a colleague let alone act upon that attraction, right?  It’s not like the hours y’all spend together will ever be spent learning about one another or conversing about things other than work, right?  Correct me if I’m wrong, but there’s DEFINITELY no way whatsoever that you would ever want to experience your coworker in a setting outside of work, right?  Right!?!?  Ummm…WRONG!  Considering that most people spend more time in the presence of their colleagues than friends and/or family, the idea of developing a “work crush” or romantic interest is far from absurd.  In fact, I would actually consider it normal/natural.  The real issue at hand is not the fact that you’re attracted to your coworker, but rather if you actually want or plan to ACT upon your enticement.  If you’re anything like me then you enjoy the financial comfort and luxuries that stable employment offers, so the very thought of risking that for short-term pleasure is beyond preposterous.

I’m not saying that there aren’t cases of successful relationships that just so happen to have stemmed from the workplace, but what I am saying is that mixing business and pleasure is exigent, as well as risky for many reasons (especially since the majority of such relationships fail to last) unless you’re Jay-Z or Beyoncé.  Oh, or Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.  If the relationship is public knowledge then you’re subjecting your work performance, including decision-making, to be analyzed based off its’ perceived influence, whether positive or negative. Let me explain.  It’s one thing to execute a task deficiently as a result of your personal efforts (or lack of), but when “bae” is also your coworker, others are quick to proclaim that your relationship somehow, someway, is the direct cause of your poor job performance.  “She can’t do anything right ever since she started dating him.”  “She better stop focusing on him so much and focus on her job before she not have one anymore.”   Conversely, if you’re executing efficiently then you shouldn’t have to be succumbed to criticism that notes your relationship as the only explanation for your current success or company recognition.  “You and I both know that the only reason she even got that promotion is because she’s seeing Boss.  Hmmm…”   Yikes!

To make matters worse, when people are made aware of certain romantic relationships, the relationship itself is now something of interest.  “How long have y’all been together?”  “Did he approach you at work?”  “Don’t you get tired of being with him all day?”  “What’s going to happen if y’all break up?”  “Does Boss Lady know?”  “Is everything going ok?  Is he the reason why you were late yesterday?”    The questions are never ending…that is, if you decide to answer them.  The moment you start answering the office’s questions about your personal life, it transfers to company logistics.  Your private matters, including those that are sexual, confrontational, and questionable,  have the potential to not only circulate amongst your peers, but to make its’ way up the corporate ladder way before you even have the chance to do so.  With that said, your image could essentially (as well as easily) be tarnished and your employment in jeopardy.  No Bueno!

I could honestly go on and on about why mixing business and pleasure is never a good idea, but rather than an article, I’d be writing a book.  There are sooooo many things to think about (image, tension, acceptable interactions, etc.) when considering even being remotely involved with a coworker, whether secretly or not.  I personally prefer to keep my private life just that…private.  I don’t want work pouring into my private life or vice versa.  A clear distinction between the two is definitely less complicated and healthier.  I’m not trying to be a party pooper, but just imagine if things don’t work out (because they usually don’t).   What if things end on a bad note?  Can you stomach being in the constant presence of your ex, let alone working together collaboratively or collectively?  Can you maintain your professionalism no matter what?  What about decision-making?  Could you make un-biased work-related judgments without letting personal feelings or interactions interfere?

In all seriousness, really think about the pros and cons before acting on your emotions.  I also recommend figuring out WHY you’re attracted to your colleague in the first place.  Despite what you may personally believe, there’s a REAL reason why most companies prohibit sexual/romantic relationships between employees, even fraternizing in general.  I’ve learned through experience, both positive and negative, that things go much smoother if you pursue the relationship once one of you have parted from your shared employer.  Mix cereal and milk, not business and pleasure.