Monyetta Shaw Talks Getting Her Tubes Burned For NeYo, Finding Out About His New Girl & Finally Finding Peace

We all know of Monyetta Shaw as a multi-business owner, author of ‘Bigger Than Me’ (out now), mother of two and NeYo’s ex-fiancee. Though we’ve heard several variations of her life’s story, she took to the New York Post to tell her truth in her very own words. 

On She & NeYo Mutually Agreeing To Sterilization 

On Oct. 9, 2011, I delivered a healthy baby boy, my second child, Mason, and I finally felt my family was complete. So before the doctors finished up in the delivery room, I told them: “I want you to burn my fallopian tubes.”

My fiancé, Shaffer Chimere Smith (better known as R&B artist Ne-Yo), was right by my side, holding my hand the entire time. The doctor must have asked us eight times if this was what we wanted. Each time, we both replied yes.

Sterilization was something Ne-Yo and I discussed thoroughly in the months leading up to the baby’s delivery. We had a daughter, Madilyn, in 2010, and two children seemed like more than enough for the both of us. Ne-Yo also agreed to undergo a vasectomy to show our mutual commitment to the relationship.

I was so busy caring for two young children, I just assumed Ne-Yo had followed through and had gotten the vasectomy. I trusted him so much that it never even crossed my mind that he hadn’t gone through with it.

On NeYo Proposing To Her 

After starting a family, I fell more in love than ever. In 2010, during a weekend in the Dominican Republic for [rapper] Fabolous’ birthday, Ne-Yo asked me to marry him. We were in a suite, and he told everybody to be quiet. He pulled my hand, dropped down to one knee, and I immediately started crying. He incorporated the lyrics from his song “Make Me Better” and pulled out a 10-carat diamond ring.

On The Breakup 

 in June 2013 — just two months before our August wedding — Ne-Yo called.

“I don’t want to be monogamous anymore,” he told me — in other words, he wanted to break up. A week later, we had a deep conversation face to face. I was so hurt and distraught; my parents have been together for 44 years, and I always assumed our relationship would last for the rest of our lives. The thought of him and my kids not living under the same roof was devastating.

A week after our split, Ne-Yo posted the news on Instagram.

How She Found Out About NeYo’s New Girlfriend 

Then, in 2014, when Ne-Yo released his music video for “Money Can’t Buy,” I found out that he was dating the video’s vixen, Crystal Renay, known for posting racy photos on Instagram.

My world came crashing down all over again: I had tried to understand that he didn’t want to be monogamous, but then 

Monyetta goes on to say that more pain is added to the situation, knowing that if she falls in love again, she may not be able to give her new love a child of his own. 

On How She Found Peace

Despite all of the hurt, there has been one bright spot. I’ve had so many women reach out to me via social media, pouring their hearts out about similar regrets. I’m glad that I’ve been able to counsel some of them as they navigate their own hardships.

Now I look back and wonder what I was thinking. I love hard, and I made so many permanent decisions based on what I thought a man wanted from me, not what I wanted for myself. When my daughter comes of age, I will tell her: “Your body is your temple. Don’t do anything to it you don’t want to regret.”

Today, I’m finally at peace. I took awhile to get here, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be exactly where I want to be, but I make the choice each day to be happy, not just for me, but for my two kids. That’s where the title of my book comes from — this is all bigger than me.

Honey, when I say she is better than me….