Breaking up is hard to do. The most difficult part of it all is the “moving on” part of it. Depending on how long the relationship lasted, the comfort of our previous lover is all we’ve ever known. In some instances, we probably never saw ourselves with anyone else. Nonetheless, the relationship is over, and we have to move on. We have to leave what once was in the past. In order to move on, we have to take the necessary steps to make sure that any feelings we still may have will not jeopardize our moving forward.
We Can’t Be Friends…For Now
One of the biggest obstacles that can stand in the way of someone moving on is staying friends with an “ex.” In the early stages of this relationship, nothing changes but the title of the relationship. Feelings are often still lingering, sex remains an option, and you both are still in each other’s space. In some cases, there is still a certain level of loyalty given to the other party. Unfortunately, loyalty isn’t always reciprocated, which can lead to more heartbreak. At this point, splitting up and then becoming friends has become counterproductive. What should you do when you break up? The first thing you should do is create some space. Even if you agree to be friends, let it be known that you need some time, on your own, to get your new life in order. The time away will give you time to determine whether a friendship is possible with your former lover.
When it comes to moving on, memories can hold you back. You can’t erase what is in your mind but what you can do is get rid of what makes you remember your former lover. You don’t have to throw anything out, but you definitely want to pack them in a box and store them away. Start with pictures. Take all the pictures of you and your former lover down. Go on all of your social networking sites, and delete or remove any photos with you two in them. It seems a little harsh, but you are beginning a “new chapter” in your life, and you can’t do that with “old stories.” You may also want to return anything that wasn’t a gift. Keep the gifts you got because you deserved them.
The most important step in moving on is creating some “me time.” This time is extremely important as it allows you an opportunity to work on yourself. In a relationship, people spend so much time and energy on their partners that they often forget or leave little time to work on themselves. “Me time” also allows you to be selfish without affecting another individual. It also gives you time to strengthen that “self-love” you might have lost while you were in a relationship. More than anything, “me time” gives you a chance to rearrange your priorities, and if you’re smart, you will put yourself atop that list.