– blogged by: @thebuzzwithb
The Situationship. You know that place beyond friends with benefits but below a relationship, but it feels like a relationship because you do relationship-like activities. There is no title, so you have no say so in the other person’s affairs, but you’d still feel some type of way if you found out they were involved with something else but that’s really not your significant other so it’s technically not even your business. I personally do not suggest entering this type of messy arrangement, but in this day and age it’s easy to fall into. If you do find yourself in a situationship, here are some major keys to keep in mind.
Rule #1: Always remember that the other person does NOT belong to you. That’s not ya girl. That’s not ya man. Simple as that. Do not convince yourself that you two are together, no matter how much one on one time is spent, or how many cute emojis you exchange via text throughout the day. This is not a relationship.
Rule #2: Take what they say to heart. If someone is honest with you, and tell you they are not looking for anything serious or are not interested in a relationship at this time, that is exactly what they mean. You cannot change their mind and you will lose yours trying to do so.
Side Note: If you have this information, you do not have to stay if this does not line up with what you want. You can choose to leave and pursue what you truly desire.
Rule #3: Pay attention to how the other person is treating you. Actions tell all. Don’t get sold a dream or create one in your head that’s clearly never coming true. They may have said “one day” or “I can see it happening,” but is there any clear and direct effort being made to indicate that a commitment will actually come to fruition?
Rule #4: Keep your emotions at a distance. No need to invest in something that you know deep down is most likely going nowhere. You may be “with” someone but you’re not really WITH someone, my dear. You have a responsibility to look out for your own feelings.
Rule #5: Use condoms!!! If you are sexually involved with this person, and you know there is a great chance they are getting’ it poppin’ with other people, it’s so important to protect yourself each and every time. No excuses!
Rule #6: Remember you have options. Don’t get so caught up in your faux relationship that you forget you are technically single. You are not in a committed, monogamous relationship and you do not have to follow rules as if you are. This is especially important for my ladies to remember.
Again, I do not encourage nor endorse the situationship, but getting caught in this pattern can happen to the best of us. Stay honest with yourself about what you’re involved in and do not hesitate to move on when you have had enough. It may work for a while but once you are ready for something more serious, don’t expect your situationship counterpart to give you that. Most likely they won’t. Go find someone who is on the same page as you, start a new chapter, and fill it with a more traditional love story.
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Hey could you help to get out of situationship.
Thanks for the article! Some very wise words. I think I’d like to add what seem to me a very important couple other “rules.”
#7 Have transparent communication with your situationship partner. It doesn’t have to be a full-on dress pants and blazer conversation, but enough honesty to keep both you and your sitch-partner aware and on the same page.
#8 Be aware not only of your sitch-partners’ actions but your own actions and emotions. If you imagine your sitch-partner making out with another person how would that make you feel? If the answer to this is upset or hurt perhaps you’ve developed something more in the platonic fuckery in your situationship (?).
That’s all,
Ed