Now Entering Danger Zone: The Friend Zone – blogged by: @proudlylauren

Understanding the friendzone is like understanding a dream; you think you get it perfectly, but the more you focus on what actually happened, how it happened, and try to concentrate on the details, the more it escapes you. According to urbandictionary.com, the friendzone is “usually associated with long days of suffering and watching your love interest hop from one relationship to another”. In other words, the friendzone is where you extradite someone who’s never going to be more than a friend, and is therefore unworthy of anything romantically or sexually. Not only is it elusive and hard to grasp, but it also discriminates against no one; men and women, short or tall, ugly or cute, broke or rich, anyone can get friendzoned. So if you want to avoid being the friend who watches from the sidelines, keep reading to find out some of the top antics that can land you in the friendzone.  

Too Clingy

Everyone, both men and women, enjoy a challenge; so if you come off too strong right away: giving pet names, and trying to talk 24/7, not only will you ruin the chase, but you may also come off border line stalker. Excessive texts, over the top compliments, discussing the future too soon, are just a few things I see most often. Slow and steady wins the race, stop falling in love so fast, and learn to pace yourself.    

Dishonest

You told him you didn’t have a boyfriend, but when he goes to your Instagram, there’s the same man getting weekly Monday posts, heartfelt birthday shout outs, and throwbacks of him when he last came to visit you. Automatic friend zone. If you’re dishonest this early on in the friendship, they’ll lose a level of respect, and understandably avoid investing their time or energy in anything deeper. Be open and honest about things and create a foundation of trust that will separate you.

Inconsistent

One day you’re the sweetest and most attentive person ever, the next, you’re distant and can’t be reached. If you prove you are going to be like most everyone else, and be consistent on a convenience basis only; you’re also proving unworthy of any emotional investment. Next time, learn to keep your word, and avoid random personality switch up’s.

Just Like the Rest

Anytime we meet someone, we are comparing them to everyone else we’ve ever dealt with, knowingly or not. If you remind them of the losers in their past, and show them that you are just like all the other duds: maybe you come on too aggressive sexually, or have terrible conversation, your chances of being anything more than a friend are slim. In the future, separate yourself, take the time to get to know them and show you have genuine interest.

High-Risk

She was into you at first, and then she found out you have four kids, four baby momma’s, no car, a part-time job and no stable place to stay. Too much baggage, or risks, like unsettled baby mama drama, are enough to scare anyone away from pursuing a relationship. After-all if you can’t support or maintain your self sufficiently, how can you handle a relationship? Make sure all of your business is in order, before bringing another person into your complications, i.e. make sure your baby mama understands and respects the fact that you’ve moved on.

I know I’ve been friendzoned before, and let me tell you: watching bae fall in love with someone else, is some sanity-testing BS. If you have a love interest that you want to be able to kiss instead of high-five, I challenge you to check yourself and make sure you are not committing any of the above offenses. Redeeming yourself out of the friendzone is nearly impossible, so let’s get it right the first time. Happy Dating.