Open Relationship Etiquette & Education

There are a lot of people who don’t know what an open relationship is, or why someone would want to be in one. Open relationships aren’t for everyone, just like eating meat isn’t for everyone, wearing high end clothing isn’t for everyone, every one has their own views on everything. No one is right and no one is wrong, so before you turn your nose up, open your mind to what others may be thinking when they get involved in an open arrangement. This blog is not only to inform you of the pros and cons of such agreements, but to also teach you how to effectively pull off an open relationship so that it’s acceptable to all parties involved. 

Before we get started let’s make one thing clear, an open relationship is NOT the same as participating in threesomes, orgies, swinging or any other type of sexual acts. An open relationship has nothing to do with participating in sexual acts. If you like to have threesomes with your significant other that does NOT mean you’re in an open relationship. 

What is an open relationship? It’s an agreement that both parties in a relationship have, saying that they are free to have sexual relations with other people. Like with any agreement, there are rules to making an open relationship work. Just because you are free to have sex with other people doesn’t mean you can disrespect your partner. 

Why do people choose open relationships? Simply put, every relationship is give and take. To successfully maintain a healthy relationship there has to be compromise. You choose what you compromise on. Most times compromise has to come from whatever causes a strain on the relationship. For some, it’s the “need” to see other people every now and then. Some women/men are able to appease their significant other/themselves by suggesting they be allowed to carry on a sexual relationship with someone else from time to time. Agreements like this are most common with celebrities, athletes, “ballers”. They often are faced with temptations and rather than break up/divorce every time someone cheats, give a pass. Of course, there are rules.

The most important rule is to have complete transparency.  Open relationships are based on trust. Communication is key. If you can’t tell your significant other where you’re going and with whom, you’re not in an open relationship, you’re cheating. If you’ve already been given a pass to see other people, there should be no reason you can’t be honest about who you are with and what you’re doing. Open the lines of communication more now than ever. Trust goes a long way. 

Secondly, don’t come home with anything you didn’t leave the house with. That includes STDs and babies so wrap it up! Have enough respect for your significant other that you don’t put their life at risk by having sex unprotected. AIDS is real and it’s not just four letters in the alphabet. People are dying every day and if it isn’t AIDS, the many different other STDs that will have your genitals out here inflamed and itchy aren’t walks in the park either. Respect the fact that your significant other trusts you enough to allow you to sleep with other people, by not bringing them home sexually transmitted diseases or sexually transmitted babies. 

Never put another over your significant other. This should go without saying. Even though you are allowed to have sex with other people, it doesn’t mean you should forget where home is. Don’t spend so much time away from home that you allow your relationship to fall apart. Treat your significant other to nice things, more now than ever. Go on dates, tell them you love them, show them that you appreciate them. Show the world that you appreciate them. They should be #1 at all times. 

Social media has made it harder for open relationships to work because people don’t establish rules on both sides of the relationship. This means if you’re having sex with someone else, they need to KNOW that you are in a relationship and that’s where home is. They need to KNOW that they are not allowed to cause strain in your relationship in any way. That means no pictures, no tweets, no drama. They need to KNOW where they stand. The problem these days is that people get into these types of relationships and don’t check the other person at the door. This causes the other person to get on social media, doing the most, and puts a huge strain on the relationship you’re in. It’s very important that you establish rules all the way around. If everyone is going to play the game, they need to know who’s team they’re playing for. 

Have you ever considered an open relationship? How about an open marriage? What are some rules that you would establish?