Baller Alert Entertainment & Lifestyle During a late night pillow talk session, my man and I were discussing our future plans, most of which included the other. We frequently talk about what we want out of life and what we feel we need and desire in a partner. I told him that one of the reasons we were together was because he had the three “non-negotiables” that I look for in a mate. He looked a little puzzled so I explained to him what that meant. When I decide that I am going enter into a serious relationship with someone (I’ve only had two in my life) that person needs to (at the very minimum) fit the following criteria:
- Be God Fearing– I want my partner to love God and establish Him as the head of our household. I want my partner to be a praying man that will pray over our family and feed the word of God into us daily.
- Family Oriented– I want my partner to be a family man. I want family to be an important factor in his life and I want him to value the relationships he has with them-especially immediate family members like mother/father, brother/sister. Also, could this person be a great father to my future children?
- Financial and Emotional Stability-It is imperative that my partner be stable in both these areas so that he can help to provide that for our relationship. I want him to not only know that value of a dollar, but know why it is important to save and invest for the future for our family (and actively save and invest) so that we aren’t always looking to keep our heads above water. Emotional stability is important because I want my partner to be there to provide support and love when I may have emotionally checked out and I need that extra love and attention to get me back to where I need to be.
My man appreciated that I felt this way about him. I asked him what were his non-negotiables and he honestly said it wasn’t something that he had ever considered. My man now has his list of “non-negotiables” and we have both promised one anbother that as long as we were together, we would continue to work toward meeting these non-negotiables to help develop and enhance our relationship with one another.
When I talk with my girlfriends now, we talk about how out of maturity, we threw our infamous “List” out the window—you know the list with your man needs to be a certain height, make over six-figures, have light eyes, nice teeth, etc. It’s perfectly fine to want those things and you most definitely can have them, but I feel we put too much stock in our “list” and not enough in the “non-negotiables” or the factors that we are not willing to bend on that really help to build and preserve a meaningful and lasting relationship. I also believe that I too should fit my own list of “non-negotiables” and do the things that I require of my partner.
What are some factors that you would consider “non-negotiables” for your relationships?
