Stalker Alert: I will find youuuuuu! By: @milagreee

CLINGER ALERT
Beware of the stage 5 clinger! This species is real and on the prowl for their next victim at all times! Usually women are the ones that receive this infamous title of clinger from men. Ill be honest and say that some women really are clingers; they text men like crazy and stalk their Facebook and Instagram, leaving unwanted comments. These females are unaware of what a casual hook up actually is. But lo and behold, there are men that also can be stage fivers, who actually perceive your rejection as a “challenge.” We all know how men love a challenge.

The stage five clinger is unable or unwilling to get “the hint.” You might go as far as to tell them flat out to leave you the hell alone and they still think you’re absolutely adorable. You might spell it out inadvertently by not returning phone calls and not answering text messages, but this isn’t enough for Charlie the Clinger to move on.

Chances are that Charlie already has a misconstrued idea of what your relationship is as opposed to what it really is. Nothing. The problem is that the more you hang out with the clinger, the more they add to their version of your relationship.

If you receive paragraph text messages and are responding with one word answers to try and get the message across but they continue sending you novels, day after day, hour after hour, you might be dealing with a real life clinger. The clinger might also call multiple times without being answered, leaving you unwanted voice mails asking “why you playing games? Call me back Bae!” AHHH Congrats on the stage five clinger. Or not.

The clinger initiates all contact. The clinger also has the last word in every interaction. He starts and ends the texting conversation, clearly ignoring the fact that you might be short with him because you might have no interest in speaking in the first place. I believe the only way to stop this is to completely ignore this person forever, not matter what they say. Sometimes we will text back a one word answer because we feel bad and don’t want to be complete bi*ches but these men don’t take that one word answer as courtesy, in fact they take it as an open door for them to continue their advances.

The stage 5 clinger will continue to ask you out to no avail. How many different ways can you possibly tell someone that you do not want to see them? Ever? They also show up at places knowing that you’ll be there, totally uninvited. STALKER ALERT! I don’t know how they save face enough to show up to a place they were never invited to, to see someone who clearly doesn’t want to see them.

Not making it clear to someone that the relationship you two have is really just a hook up could lead them to believe that they are in the works for what could amount to be a serious relationship, regardless of the subtle clues you might throw here and there. Some people need you to tell them, others can infer. The stage 5 clinger cannot or will not, they will believe what they want despite what you tell them. You told them you didn’t want anything serious and in their mind you just told them that you might want to hook up for now and eventually you two will get married and live in a beautiful home with three kids and a dog. These people will continue with the harassment until they have successfully locked you in their basement. FOREVER! Just kidding. Maybe.