Stop Fooling Yourself: Why Their Ex is Still Around – blogged by: @proudlylauren

Couples everywhere, at some point in their relationship, have had issues with their partner’s ex. For whatever reason, they stayed around and never completely left the picture. As a result, you start unnecessary arguments trying to figure out why, playing investigator, confronting the ex for answers, and ultimately making a fool of yourself. No more! Ex’s that stay around are not that big of a mystery, and the answer to “why they’re still around” is rather simple to understand. So, if your partner’s ex is still around, and you’re looking for the answer to why, there is only one logical option:

Because your partner allows it: Even if they don’t want to be back together per se, or plan on rebuilding a future, the only reason they still have access, or the power to interfere in your relationship is because they are allowing it. Instead of your bae ignoring them, or letting them know their boundaries, they make them comfortable enough to call whenever they want and intrude at the most inopportune times. The ex wouldn’t have called on a random Wednesday night at 1am unless your bae made them think it was ok. Furthermore, if your partner sees how upset it makes you and they are STILL a problem, unless the ex is a stage 5 stalker, who else can be blamed? Don’t call the ex, attacking them for talking to your partner, he/she was there to answer the calls, have the conversations, and spark the connection you asked him/her not to.

Instead, deal with your partner. Express your expectations, and demand the respect you wish. If bae feel’s like their ex is still a big enough factor to affect a current relationship, they may not be over the past after all.

So, stop fighting, stop investigating, and stop holding the wrong person accountable. Your partner’s ex is still around for one reason only. Decide what you will tolerate in your relationship, and follow through.