Mentioning the Unmentionable: Telling Your Partner You Have an STD

How do you tell the person that you’re dating that you have a curable or incurable STD? While dating as a millennial is hard enough, one should always be concerned about the health of their partner. Having sex with someone unprotected has always been a calculated risk, but with the number of new infections of  STD’s on the rise, a few minutes of fun can cost you a lifetime of grief.

It can be difficult, but the easiest way to find out is to have a real conversation with your partner about their health. Timing is everything, so plan accordingly. You wouldn’t want to have a drawn out relationship with someone without sharing such important details with them. That’s why it’s important to ask questions in the beginning. Swap Paperwork, get tested together, or just share your sexual history with them but always remain honest.

Of course we expect people to be transparent and to share all that “Need to Know” information, but the truth is that they probably won’t. Nobody likes opening up old wounds to be judged or to be left vulnerable. The fact is that Life happens, and it’s not always fair so be humble and don’t pass judgment. Dealing with rejection after sharing very intimate details can be devastating to someone that’s still coming to terms with having a disease, so think before you react.

Don’t expect your partner to be completely knowledgeable about your illness. It’s good to explain your conditions in the easiest ways possible, whether it’s with information from your doctor or the web. Information is so accessible and can ultimately enlighten someone who knows nothing about what you’ve been going through. Some will stay and someone will leave, but as long as you are upfront and don’t play games, you can leave knowing you left it on all the table by giving your partner the option to continue dating you or not.

The stigma associated with dating and diseases can be ignorant and unrealistic, so have an open mind. Having an STD doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve a fulfilling relationship, it only means that you’ll have to wait for someone that respect you enough to overlook your disease and learn how to love you while protecting themselves in the process. So be honest and hope for the best, life isn’t over, you just have to adjust to its demands.