Tests Confirm That Powder Substance Found Inside The White House Was Indeed Cocaine

A test has finally verified that the powdery substance located inside the White House over the weekend was indeed cocaine.

The coke was found on Sunday inside a small, ziplock bag in the West Wing near a work area. The building was evacuated while the powder was taken away. Now that the narcotic has been identified, an investigation has been launched into how it made its way into the White House and who might have been sniffing coke in President Biden’s residence.

At this point, it may be hard to pinpoint where the dope came from, considering the constant foot traffic. It’s also unknown how long the baggie had been sitting in the location. As part of the investigation, the Secret Service is reviewing surveillance footage and entrance logs to determine if it may have slipped out of someone’s bag or pockets. White House tours typically take place over the weekend, which could very well be how the party drug ended up in the secured structure. Someone may face criminal charges if the Secret Service can determine whose cocaine it belonged to. Luckily, President Biden was hanging out at Camp David over the weekend. He returned to the White House on Tuesday.

As of now, there don’t appear to be any leads regarding the cocaine cowboy. Biden has not publicly addressed the matter, seemingly unphased by the chaos, as he welcomes Sweden’s Prime Minister Ulf Kristersson to the White House for a visit Wednesday.