The Aggressive Woman Vs. The Old Fashioned Man By: @milagreee

        As women, we’re told that we are not to be the aggressor when it comes to dating. We are advised to be the sex that should sit back and let men take the wheel, because other wise we are basically taking their manly hood from them. Some men do not like when women approach them initially, while other’s claim to like it. Out of ten married men surveyed, only 1 man married a woman that initially approached him.

       This is where I get confused. If we are this new generation where women can do whatever it is that we want to do, anything that men can do we can do also, why is it that we have to conform to these old fashioned views of who is the pursuer and who is the pursued? Now, personally I don’t like to pursue, I do have old fashioned values, but I know plenty of women that prefer to approach the men they are attracted to. They feel as though they should be the one to choose as opposed to turning down man after man after man.

            Being aggressive as a female tends to turn this shark of a man off. They don’t know how to take it because this defeats this old fashioned game that they are so accustomed to either subconsciously or consciously play. As one male acquaintance of mine put it, “ she basically just told me I got it by being so upfront and aggressive so she took the fun out of it.”  I’m sure I’m not the only person who finds these types of situations annoying, frustrating and a waste of time. Are you telling me that to get the man I want, I have to pretend to lack interest in him? Are you saying that I have to SEE his text and decide that I am going to ignore it only to make him feel as though his interest in me is more intense, that I am of more value to him because I’m undervaluing him enough to ignore him?

            Playing games is a natural way that this dating world works, but it’s preposterous and irritating. Most men are unfortunately, hunters. Hunters need this chase in order to feel as though they have won a prize and that the woman that they have on their arm, they earned. They want to feel as though any other man has no chance with this woman because the hoops he had to go through to achieve her affection and interest. We all know that we value more that for which we work for than that that is just handed to us.

            For those of us who can be a tad more aggressive than the average man can deal with, I suggest living your life. I don’t know how else to put it, do I suppress my aggressive “get what I want, when I want it” personality, just to get a man? Just to make a man feel as though I’m a prize when clearly I am? And why would I want a man who I have to convince that I am a prize, shouldn’t who I am illustrate this for him?

            I don’t have a clear answer to this dilemma. A lot of women go and get what they want.  This is how some of us were raised, we are told that we have to work, and strive for the things that we want. That we are not going to be handed the things we want in life. So does this theory not apply to dating? Some men might not be as progressive as the modern woman. Does this mean bringing our whole sex back generations just to satisfy the ego of a man who can’t change? You tell me, because I have no idea. I cant help but feel fake and deceitful when playing these stupid games, but time and time again, it’s been proven that had I done so, my allure would have been that much more. I can’t help but feel that in being ourselves, we are the truest. If you want someone to play games with, I heard kindergarten still offers tag during recess.