The Dark Side Prevails: Bad Boys vs. Good Guys

Every woman has a checklist of criteria she wants her future mate to possess. The classic ‘good guy’ type: Mature. Attentive. Spiritual. Financially stable. Affectionate. Family oriented. Tall. Good looking.  Funny. I could literally go on and on (and most of our lists do). On paper, it sounds like we know exactly what we want from a man. Once this man comes along, he should be the one. He should be everything, the end all-be all and the need for the continuous search through the trenches of the dating world should immediately cease. Fireworks should erupt on queue during the inaugural kiss as cupid floats above and ever so gently strikes you both with the arrow of true love. He has all you ever wanted. He should be the one.

Keyword: SHOULD.

But somehow he has managed to gets on your last d-mn nerve. You thought you wanted someone affectionate but you actually cringe at the thought of him trying to hold your hand in public. You thought you wanted someone attentive but you actually hate the “good morning beautiful” texts that he never fails to send you each day at 7:34 AM and the fact that he always replies to your iMessage within 1-3 minutes. You thought you wanted someone mature but you’re actually bored to death with the fact that you don’t get the vibe that he has any hidden secrets. Everything you requested is right here in the flesh, staring at you from the other side of dinner table at the 5 star restaurant that your last guy would have never considered bringing you to because he doesn’t even believe in real dates anymore.

Yet, you’re still thinking of that last guy. Thinking of that guy who barely answered your texts and calls and never took you anywhere. That guy that only gave you 36% of his overall attention but you didn’t care because getting that 36% was so rewarding. He was unpredictable and inconsistent. You never really knew where you stood with him and he may or may not (most likely may) have been seeing other women. He had a past full of indiscretions that were so intriguing. He was a bad boy and you’re completely drawn to it.

It’s an epidemic that plagues so many of us. It’s an unexplainable attraction. So wrong but feels so right. We know what we deserve, yet somehow the dark side seems to always prevail. Then we end up frustrated and confused, victimizing ourselves and placing the blame on men accusing them of constantly overlooking the good women out here. I can’t say I totally disagree with those accusations… but I have to wonder… are we just as guilty?

Ladies, what is it about a bad boy that intrigues us so much?! Is there a certain point in life when they go out of style? Or is this disease one that will ultimately lead to a life of loving a bad man? What is it about the good guy that doesn’t seem to do it for us even when we clearly know how we should be treated? Can you really change a bad boy? Why do we allow the nice guys to finish last, if at all???