The Growing Epidemic Of The Male Groupie

Every day a woman is seen with a Baller/celeb she is unjustly labeled a groupie (among other things) and by now, it should be more apparent that women have actually become the minority in the world of ‘Groupiedom’. More and more we see men engaged in what would be otherwise labeled as groupie behavior with other men and are rarely called out…..until today. What purpose do male groupies serve? Why do they even exist? Let’s get to the bottom of this growing epidemic. 

Male groupies are easy to spot. In the club they are the ones pushing through women to get close to a celeb’s VIP. They beg for photos with celebs and can sometimes be spotted drinking from a celeb’s comped bottles. On social media you can identify a male groupie by his overuse of the words “fam” “bro” and “the homie.” You see, the male groupie loves to make it appear that they know the celebrity in an attempt to disguise the fact that he’s thirsty. Have you ever seen a guy take a picture with a celeb then rush to Instagram to post “Just ran into the big bro/fam/homie ______.  He told me to keep grindin! #WeWorkin!” Yeah, he has the makings of a male groupie. Chances are, that celebrity has no idea who he is and your male friend is just thirsty. Chances are he went through the most thirsty series of events to even get that photo. Chances are, he did everything short of suck that celebrity’s penis for that photo, just so he can post it to social media as if they were childhood buddies. The jig is up, my friends.

I understand female groupies because they are in it for sexual gratification, money, etc but what exactly are thirst males getting from hanging on to some celebrity? Do you think that you’ll get residual groupie sex if you look like you’re down with the team? Do you realize how idiotic you look pushing some girl away so you can get close to a rapper in VIP? How dumb do you look instagramming some other dude’s bottles in the club? It amazes me that male groupies still continue to exist after so long. At least a woman is getting SOMETHING out of it. A handbag and some good D is worth far more than a few likes you’ll get on Instagram by appearing to know a celebrity that probably forgot your face 5 minutes after you begged him to take a photo.

It’s my theory that there are two type of men that partake in such groupie behavior. Type 1 use the fame of a celebrity to appear that they too are some type of celebrity, that they run in the same circles, and hopefully because of this can get some sex from a woman who’s just down to sleep with anyone close to her favorite Baller. Type 2 is probably struggling with his sexuality. Type 2 is usually the type to sit in a celebrity’s comment section and beg them to follow back until it becomes uncomfortable, yet have all of the things in the world to say to a woman for any reason. Women become hoes and bitches, but he’s in another grown man’s comment section begging for social media friendship. Type 2 are also the type that push women out of the way in the club to get close to a celebrity. They have no regard for women and hold male celebrities on an all too high pedestal. Be careful of these types especially.

Don’t be fooled by the male groupie that has mastered the art of reverse psychology either. Male groupies have come up with a new way to disguise their thirst, by bashing the very celeb that they love. They follow them on social media, buy tickets to their games and concerts then heckle them for attention. You ever see someone talk mess about a celeb on Twitter/Instagram and when the celeb claps back they get so excited that the celeb responded? That’s a reverse psychology groupie. They follow for the admiration, stay for the potential attention. 

How do you spot a male groupie before it’s too late? Easy. They’re usually the ones doing the MOST. Anyone who is more excited to be in the presence of another male is likely to exhibit groupie behavior and if this describes a male friend of yours, sit him down and talk to him before it’s too late. Friends don’t let friends be groupies for free.