The Right Time to Say Goodbye – blogged by @proudylauren

I’m an avid believer in riding until the wheels fall off in a relationship. If we are truly in love, there should be no problem big enough, and no obstacle high enough. HOWEVER, there might come a time, when those wheels do actually start to fall off, and you realize it’s time to unboard. I know it’s never really the right time to say goodbye, however if these five things are plaguing your once happy home, it may be time.

Inspector Gadget…
Lack of trust is the key to opening Pandora’s Box in a relationship; it manifests ugly insecurities, creates private investigators, and 24 hour baby sitters. Without trust, there is no foundation to build upon; anything built without it is just as temporary as the trust that preceded it out of the door. If you find that you and your lover are dedicating all of your time to constantly rebuild trust, step back and comprehend why you all keep having to start over and reestablish something that should already be.

Love and War…
Every discussion is met with resistance, almost always ending in a heated battle, and zero reconciliation. A lot of the time, it feels better to be quiet and bypass addressing issues, if it means avoiding World War III. If you find that communication is impossible: He shuts down and gets ready to walk out at the smallest thing, and she won’t stop bringing up that one hoe from two years ago, then there may be something irreconcilable hindering the relationship and the communication.

Snap, Crackle, No Pop…
There is no fire left in the relationship, and every endeavor to rekindle it, fails. Affection is no longer something to enjoy, instead it’s a chore; something on your to-do list. Date nights are like business meetings, riddled with awkward silence and blank stares. Sex, HA, what sex?

First Time Shame on You…
Second, third, fourth and fifth time shame on me… if you have a repeat offender on your hands, it may be time to let go. If they are repeating the same offenses that you’ve expressed distaste for: ignoring you, disappearing, not coming home etc., even after seeing your pain, it’s a sign they aren’t progressing, or regarding your feelings.

Misery Loves Company…
And in the midst of relationship-despair, the only company you should have is the partner you’re struggling with. However, when things get bad, a partner may instead seek company in other people. If you or your lover don’t have the strength, patience or compassion to handle things at home, and instead escape to a 2^nd party, confiding, and divulging your problems, it’s time to go.

Again, I don’t believe in walking away from relationships over things that can be fixed. I believe bonds are created by fighting together. However, just like with everything, there are limits. If your relationship is going through any of these issues, it’s time to slow down and work on things. If they can’t be corrected, appreciate and cherish the learning experience, but don’t waste each other’s time.