For those who have experienced losing a loved one, the holiday season can feel like intense emotional persecution. The desire to celebrate is overshadowed by the constant grief of missing the individual with whom you would likely be spending these special days. While there is no definitive method to rid yourself of the pain caused by a loved one’s departure, there are several things that you can do to assist you with getting through the presumed most wonderful time of the year.
Once you have lost a loved one, the usual holiday traditions you would share with them no longer serve the same purpose. Exchanging gifts every day of Hanukkah, holding the annual Christmas Eve party at grandma’s house, or decorating the home with the rich colors of the Bendera to commemorate Kwanzaa may feel aimless while experiencing grief. That is why creating new traditions that are personal to you is vital in establishing a sense of new beginnings. Conducting a game night with close relatives at your home or via Zoom with a trivia game centered around the many likes and quirky facts about your deceased loved one can bring back joyous memories and uplift your spirit. Or, if you have the urge to escape, plan a short road trip over the holidays to one of your loved one’s favorite places. Each year, you can pick a new destination that was sacred to them and celebrate by indulging in all of their most beloved activities in the cherished locations.
If you are not up for familiar gatherings and getaways aren’t your thing, consider volunteer work this holiday season. Being of service to others, especially during a time where resources are limited, can provide you with a sense of purpose that grief can typically rob you of. Helping to deliver meals to disadvantaged members of your community or assisting with your local bike drive can provide you with a new and rewarding way to spend your holidays. Consider personalizing your volunteering experience by helping out at organizations that would have been dear to your loved one’s heart. For instance, if you lost them to cancer, donating toys to a local children’s cancer center in your loved one’s honor can be soothing to your soul.
Never be afraid to seek professional help during the holiday season if the grief becomes too much to manage. Therapy at any point is always a good idea, but with grief making the holidays such a hard pill to swallow, do not feel obligated to fight through such a rough time alone, especially during the pandemic where isolation could amplify the stress of grieving.
While you cannot present your loved one with a traditional gift during the holidays as you usually would, memorializing them by way of fresh poinsettias or their favorite plant at their gravesite is also a great way to honor them over the holiday.
Lastly, always acknowledge your grief. Allow yourself to express exactly how crappy you feel this holiday season with your loved one not being present. It is okay not to be okay, and hopefully, some of these tips will bring some comfort during these difficult moments.
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