To Be or Not to Be: Should You Be Submissive To Your man?

The recently released and highly anticipated film based on the book by E L James, “50 Shades of Grey” has brought about much controversy to say the least. One of the most highly debated topics has been the idea of submission, particularly a woman submitting to a man. The Dictionary.com definition of the root word ‘submit’ is “to give over or yield power or authority of another.” The main character Anastasia engages in unconventional, extremely hard core S&M (sadism and masochism) sex acts with her love interest, the infamous Mr. Christian Grey. Anastasia takes on the submissive role and Mr. Grey plays the dominant. She relinquishes complete control to Mr. Grey and allows him to have his complete way with her. Some say this blatant misogyny and disrespect towards women, implying women enjoy being controlled and abused. Some say the film empowers women to take control and explore new and exciting things.

In today’s society, the word submissive in terms of a relationship between to partners is normally seen as a negative. The connotation of the word immediately makes most think of weakness or that one person is being taken advantage of, usually the woman.  Women today are taught to be bold, strong, and independent rather than to submit to their male counterparts as they were once taught in the 1950’s housewife era. The label “independent woman” is a badge of honor many wear proudly.

But does this strong sense of independence interfere with the dynamic of a relationship? “Too many chiefs and not enough Indians” is an expression that we’ve heard since elementary school clearly indicating someone has to lead and someone has to follow in order for any given situation to flow smoothly.

Which brings up the burning question: Should you allow your man to lead? …Or have times changed so much that the idea of a woman submitting to a man has become completely irrelevant? Should both partners be equally submissive to one another? Is submission a sign a weakness? What are your thoughts and how do you implement or avoid the idea of submission in your relationship?