A reader brought up a very interesting topic that I would like to discuss. Secret online affairs. You’re in a committed relationship, everything is peachy between the two of you, or so you think. One day, you come across him having a profile on a social network, the kind of site in which you’re just looking for a hook up. His profile doesn’t even mention you, he writes that he makes over 200k a year, they drive a Maserati, they’re the CEO of some kind of company that doesn’t exist and he’s messaging plenty of women, telling them all types of lies. Meanwhile, hes actually drives a Toyota and has a sales job in which he makes no where near what he is say. Now is this cheating? Absolutely.
There are actual websites that TEACH you how to have a secret affair online, which is ridiculous but I guess there are website for everything now a days. These websites show you step by step how to keep it a secret from your significant other and how to keep it going. They are mostly focused on men who are bored in their marriage and need a little ego boost. Some of these online affairs lead to sexting, sending racy pictures, maybe a little face time. Although this person isn’t actually making physical contact (which might be what let’s them sleep at night) this is still considered cheating. Its deceiving and sneaky.
The signs to tell if a person is having an online affair might be just as close to the signs of someone who is having a physical affair. Pass codes on everything: cellphone, laptop, ipad. He might even put the web page that he’s on down when you come near him. That should give you a hint that he is doing something online that he shouldn’t be. Granted, it could just be porn. He might have secret social media accounts that you aren’t aware of. He might have two different instagrams, two different face books. He will have dating site profiles such as Okcupid, plenty of fish, Tinder that primarily focus on hook ups. He might be up really late at night at the computer, while you’re asleep. He might clear the history off of the computer so you don’t even know what he’s on. A man who isn’t cheating doesn’t need to clear the history.
The counter argument to this whole fiasco is that online cheating is just masturbation. -___- He’s just “getting his rocks off” in a different way. Someone could compare this to masturbation but would you hide masturbating from your significant other? No. you’d say, I just “rubbed on out” in the shower babe.
I consider anything that you cannot tell you significant other to be cheating. If you’re doing something that you cannot or decide not to share, something is wrong. Online cheating can lead to an emotional affair and that’s when things get ugly. Now hes emotionally attached to someone outside of his relationship, and depriving you of the attention that you should be receiving from him. So no, it cannot be considered “masturbation.” He can use some porn, watching “Lisa Ann” or “Fiesty Felicia” isn’t going to lead to an emotional affair.
Technology is a wonderful thing, but it has opened so many doors for people that it even allows someone to have an affair without ever touching the other person.