Ballerific Relationships – Wait, Is He Ashamed of Your Weight?

For two days Centric ran a marathon of ‘The Game’ and I spent both days watching and basking in a nostalgic glow. Coming second only to it’s sister show, ‘Girlfriends’, (Fun Fact: The Game is a spin off of Girlfriends. Melanie is Joan’s cousin.) the sitcom is hilarious and perfectly laced with a combination of television fantasy and real life issues. I was heartbroken over the show’s abrupt ending and hopeful when it got picked up only to be disappointed when the show returned with very little resemblance to the awesomeness it once was. Luckily, Centric reminded me of just how much I Love ‘Med School’, Kelly, Tasha Mac and their men.

Speaking of Tasha Mac, that son of hers is a trip and the reason behind this post. Malik met Renee Royce while she was interviewing his mom on the red carpet during a sporting event and he found himself attracted to her sass.. and ass. Eventually, the two of them hooked up and bed romped on the regular. That is until Renee realized that she was a secret and read him his rights. She was a secret not because she was a side chick that he was hiding from his girlfriend but because he was embarrassed by her weight. Even though she was in a progress of losing weight, it had not been enough to change his mind. He would meet her at hotels and do her down but when she made reservations for them to have dinner at a popular restaurant, he stood her up. He thought he’d be able to take it but he couldn’t face the pressure he assumed would come his way for dating someone who didn’t fit the standard idea of beauty. Much later he would learn the error of his ways and come to his senses but not before putting her through more drama and shame.

Off screen, this is not uncommon. As a woman whose weight has fluctuated throughout my life, I know what it is like to have someone like you but not really like YOU.  Let me make that make sense. When you aren’t physically someone’s type but they Love everything else about you it becomes a battle for them and in turn, for you. Some people really care more about what other people would say instead of going with their own flow. They want to spend time with you but like with Renee, it is hardly in public, if ever. They say things like “Man, why can’t more women be like you?!” and make you wonder why they aren’t with you if they think you’re so amazing. What they really mean is “Damn, I wish I could take your bomb ass personality, heart and spirit and put it in someone with a nicer body”. Even if that never comes out of their mouth, their actions often speak for them. I know they say actions speak louder  than words but inaction speaks just as loud. This guy is single, spends most of his free time with you, you have that homie Lover friends thing down and sexes you like crazy. Yet, he never takes you out, you have never met his friends and when you try to take candids of him he is suddenly a ninja or oh so camera shy.

Now, everyone is entitled to have a preference and that is not my issue at all. I am never offended by someone’s lack of attraction to me, it’s life. My thing is with those who have a change in preference and are too ashamed to admit it and are hurting someone in the process. In some cases, their preference doesn’t change but they happen to fall for someone who is the total opposite of what they thought they liked and they act as if their life is in shambles. Grow up. You can’t try to get in my guts and be embarrassed BY MY gut. Pick one, bruh.

Have you experienced this? Big or small, have you ever dealt with someone who was attracted to your spirit or personality but not attracted to your physical? Have you lost weight and someone who played you before now tries to get back in?