Value is something that we should carry around like we do our identity. Actually, value should be a necessary part of our identity. By valuing ourselves, no matter how many butterflies this other person instantly brings out in us, we are able to draw the necessary boundaries that are essential for a healthy relationship. When you’re smitten, females in particular, we tend to start to put this other person before what would’ve normally occupied your days before meeting them. It’s a total mistake. Putting someone else before what could be your family, friends, and hobbies puts that person at the top of your priority list.
Naturally, when you’re in “like” you start to try and fit this person in wherever you can, whenever you can which ultimately makes him lose respect for you. Putting someone at the top is your priority list is something that should be earned, like trust. He needs to earn his way up on your list, not automatically appear at the top. Now that he sees that you’ll blow off dinner with your girls to see him, he knows he has you and the challenge to EARN you is gone. You give people what they earn, when they earn it. I’m not talking about earning in the monetary sense, although some people do reward their significant others for the amount of money spent on them. To each their own. Personally, I believe it takes more than money to earn a seat higher than the bottom of your priorities when you first start dating.
Not only does this method keep you occupied so that you cannot replace the actual important things that you had in your life prior to meeting this person, but he sees you for how you value yourself and what it is that is important to you. People show you who they are whether they intend to or not. They can only keep up a façade for so long before their true personality seeps through their pores and comes out into the light of the world. I always say to pay attention when people show you who they are, because they really mean it.
So don’t let a person you just met replace the things, and the people that have always been important to you. If he’s the right person he will value you for it, not put up a fight like a child. When you first start dating someone, everything seems as though there is a new sun you’ve never seen before, a new moon that has never shined so bright, even new the rain smells fresh and encompassing. But these things only last for so long, and we tend to forget that. Always keep your eyes open and evaluate how he reacts when you don’t always put him first. He just got here, he’s got to earn his keep and his place on your list of priories.